Chasing Dreams
by RainbowRomeo
Summary: Dr. Robert Chase thinks that his private life is nobody's business but his own, he also thinks that he's not a masochist. As always House proves him wrong in the most unconventional way possible.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everybody!

A small **warning** in the beginning: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit, even though it will take some time until we get to the latter. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecureties, don't read this. Also, the first chapter mainly contains Chase/Wilson and no House/Chase (even though the former is in no way explicit), if you don't like that pairing, you can come back to read the second chapter, since I will be giving a short summery of the first chapter and then you can read on about the House/Chase-ness!

Now, enjoy reading and I'm hoping to see some feedback!

**CHASING DREAMS**

"Dr. Wilson! Uhm... Hi?"

"Hello Chase."

It took a moment of awkward silence and Chase hoping Wilson would elaborate why he was standing at his doorstep at 10 pm, until he cleared his throat and decided that he obviously wouldn't get an answer without inviting his colleague in.

"Would you… like to come in for a minute?"

"Yeah, thanks."

He couldn't really decide for himself if he was okay with Wilson turning up at his flat in the middle of the night. It wasn't like he had anything else to do and he liked Wilson. But the man looked so obviously troubled and nervous and Chase wasn't the best guy to go to if you had a problem. God, especially if it was woman-trouble. Was Wilson currently married or going through a divorce?

Chase could only hope that it was something work related. He was okay with work.

"You can sit down if you want. Can I get you anything? I have tea or beer or… I guess I have some sodas around somewhere if you'd like one."

"No, Chase, I'm okay, thank you."

God, that meant he had to sit down and wait for Wilson to explain or ask him to explain right away. Gingerly he sat down next to the older man, once again cursing inwardly over the fact that his sofa was too small and he didn't have anything else to sit on in his too small living room.

"So… I heard that your patient got jaw surgery and all mystery was solved?"

"Yeah, House found out about the jaw infection because of those breath mints I stole from Harvey yesterday when Cameron and I searched his flat. He was good to go after the surgery, but House told him and Annette they couldn't keep up their… games."

"Wow, I guess that really wasn't what they wanted to hear. But at least he's alive and doesn't have to live on breath mints anymore."

Chase could only nod. He had actually hoped that they were done with the topic now. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, didn't want to _think_ about any of this anymore. It was bad enough that he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, because he just hadn't been able to get all of that out of his head.

He didn't like that everyone knew, generally he preferred people knowing as little as possible about his life outside the hospital, but this was something he had really, really, really wanted to remain a secret. He knew he could have won the differential with his trauma idea, if he had told them about Harvey's lifestyle, but he had let that one go on his free will. If it hadn't been for their patient looking so clearly desperate as Foreman had manhandled Annette, he wouldn't have ever said anything. And now it was out in the open and he could only hope people would forget.

Hope he himself would be able to forget.

"Don't… Don't you think it was weird how they tried so much to be together in the hospital after Annette was banned? Normally people want to be as far away from the ones who hurt them, but those two…"

So that really was, what Wilson wanted to talk about? God, why had he told House about the parties? He should have known that everybody would know as soon as Greg House knew.

"It's not just about the being hurt part", he muttered, trying his best not to look at Wilson. "I wouldn't call it weird or anything, it's just… different."

Silence. It was a judgemental silence and Chase wondered why Wilson would come over just to call what he was so obviously part of weird.

"Yeah, I wouldn't call it weird either."

He lifted his head in disbelieve and looked at the still very uncomfortable man next to him, who tried to smile at Chase, but only managed a nervous grimace.

"So… What… What would you call it then?" Chase's voice was careful, like he was testing the grounds of their new and maybe common topic of interest.

"I don't know", Wilson began, lowering his gaze to his clasped hands. "I guess I… I'd call it… I really don't know, Chase…"

The younger swallowed hard and sat up, carefully laying a hand on his colleague's shoulder to soothe him. His stomach felt a bit queasy, but excited at the same time for the prospect of not being the only one to sympathize with Harvey and Annette.

"I… kind of had a… relationship like that… once. I mean, it was a long time ago and I haven't really done anything since then, but your case, it… it reminded me of that relationship I had when I was in med school and House said you…. You were the one who knew Annette and explained the whole liking to be strangled thing. Not… Not that I'm into that, I mean, strangling and smothering and that kind of thing."

And just like that he felt a whole lot better. Wilson just wanted to talk to somebody who wouldn't judge _him_ and who better than someone who had his own experience?

"I once had a girlfriend, it was back in Australia. We got along really well and after some time she confessed that she was into BDSM. She showed me the scene back home, introduced me to some people and we tried some things together. When I moved here, she gave me an address of a friend of hers who also lived in Jersey. I didn't know anyone else around here, so I went to a few parties her friend invited me to and I saw Annette a few times, so that's why I knew her."

Wilson smiled at him and Chase couldn't help but smile back, because the older doctor looked so incredibly shy, albeit excited.

"Have… Have you been with other people? I mean, like _that_?"

"I've experimented, yeah. After I left Australia. I nearly did something with Annette once."

Damnit! God, why did he have to say that? Annette was a dominatrix and Wilson knew that and… But obviously, his colleague focused on another part of his statement.

"Have you ever… experimented… with, you know… guys?"

He nodded, smiling a little bit embarrassedly. "I'm bisexual. Or let's just say, I don't really care about gender. I'm not completely fixated on only wanting brunettes, I decide if I'm interested or not by judging the person for more than that, so why would I have to cross out men entirely?"

Wilson's face lit up and Chase knew he could forget about being embarrassed.

"You want to know a secret?"

"Sure, you can tell me. I mean, since we're being open and all, and I guess we shouldn't talk about any of this to others."

"I think I'm actually more gay than straight. At least when it comes to sex, I just do a bit better in relationships with woman, which should tell you a lot about how bad I am with men!"

"So that relationship in med school that you told me about, that was with a man, wasn't it?"

A shy nod and – oh bloody hell – a suggestive smile. Oh God! Wilson was coming on to him! Chase's face seemed to show that certain realization, because the other doctor hurried to explain.

"Don't worry, you don't have to! I didn't want to let this chance with you go to waste, just because I was too chicken to ask you. But you don't have to say yes! I just figured, since you seem to be quite accustomed with the… dominant part and I'm more submissive, we could… try something, you know, nothing serious, no relationship or anything, just… sex."

Wilson's face was flushed, more flushed than Chase could remember it ever being when House had embarrassed him in front of everyone. And Chase, he knew that he was as pale as his walls and those were freshly painted white. In contrast to House, Wilson had actually listened to most of what he had said. Most of it. He figured that Chase was dominant, while House had used what he had already known about Chase to come to the conclusion that he had to be submissive.

He felt like laughing hysterically, since the two parts of his mind now had the faces, voices of House and Wilson.

Chase was dominant. He had to be, because he had enjoyed those parties back in Australia, he had liked the scene there and he was the dominant part of his relationship then, so he had to be a dom, had to like to be on the giving, not the receiving end. He knew that and it was okay like that, it was perfect. And now there was a new opportunity to show the world and himself that he was made to be the stronger part of a relationship. He would show Wilson and Wilson would tell House and then House would stop calling him a masochist!

"I think I like your idea", Chase whispered and took one deep breath before he straightened his back to gain height and superiority over the still slumped Wilson. He cleared his throat to use a more confident, stronger voice. "Just sex. You and I, some of those… games, yeah?"

"Yeah." Now it was Wilson, who was reduced to whispering, shyly looking up at Chase and swallowing hard.

"So, tell me, _James_", Chase started, forcing a confident smirk onto his face. "What are you into?"

The older man lowered his gaze again and Chase saw that he was trembling slightly – excitement so obviously emitting from every pore of his body, making his trousers bulge, making him dry his sweating palms on his thighs.

The Australian felt incredibly relieved. It worked! Harvey was just too fixated on Annette, it hadn't been his fault that he hadn't managed to make him sign the form the day before. It hadn't been his fault! He was able to do this!

"I meant that, you know, about the smothering and all and…", Wilson started, but the younger doctor interrupted by placing his arm around Wilson's shoulders – none too gently.

"I want you to look at me, when you talk to me, James."

"Oh, yeah, I… I'm sorry." Carefully Wilson looked at his colleague and tried to gather his thoughts. "I'm not into blood and that kind of thing, I'm not too keen on leaving permanent damage. But I… I like being hurt and… restrained. But I'd like a safeword and I don't want to be gagged, at least… not at first."

Another smile appeared on Chase's face and the little voice inside his head that sounded a lot like House now told him that he shouldn't have to force himself to smile at words like that. But he thought about cuffs and other restraints and he thought about toys and candles and smiling was okay then.

"I think I'm prepared for what you have in mind."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit, even though it will take some time until we get to the latter. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecureties, don't read this.

If you **didn't read the first chapter**: Wilson asked Chase if he wanted them to have a kinky sex relationship with Chase as the dominant part.

Now, enjoy!

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The next day was _awkward_. Chase had actually called in sick, but House had called back and told him to get his arse to work. It was one of those times he hated that his boss was as observant as he was, that he knew when one of them was sick even before they showed any real symptoms.

He tried hiding, but as always – how do you hide behind glass walls? Especially since they didn't have a patient and he couldn't hide in one of the labs. He'd done his clinic duty already and Cameron and Foreman had been assigned to do House's, so the only thing he could do was sit in the conference room next to his boss's office and do crossword puzzles.

The first time he was able to relax was at lunchtime. He sat in the last corner of the cafeteria, pretended to read a medical journal and pretended to have lunch. Sadly, he only had half an hour off and he wasn't in the mood to listen to one of House's just-to-annoy-Chase-lectures about how important it was that he was up at diagnostics during his work time even if they didn't have a case. So after his hour was up he took his half full tray and made to cross the room.

Chase hesitated as his blue eyes suddenly locked with dark brown ones. _James_. Dr. Wilson was having lunch with House and had been about to take a bite of his sandwich, when he noticed Dr. Chase walking towards him in order to get to the exit doors. The younger doctor hurried to break the eye contact and looked down just the right second to not notice Wilson lower his own gaze to his lunch.

The only one who watched the whole, awkward thing was House. And just like that he had a new case to solve.

_____________________________________________________________

It was almost six o'clock when Chase received a page from House, ordering him up to his office. He had been allowed to take on a shift in the ICU and had been incredibly relieved that he could avoid Wilson this way. You don't need oncologists in intensive care often.

Now he was standing in front of his normal terrain and he was terrified of the closed blinds. That either meant House was in pain and would yell at him to go get him Vicodin or it meant he was planning on doing something to Chase he didn't want others to witness. And God, the young doctor had a feeling House wasn't in more pain than he usually was.

He didn't want this. Not after last night. He was sure Wilson had told House everything and he didn't really feel like he could handle being humiliated by House right then. But it wasn't like he had any choice. His boss wanted to see him and who was he not to obey?

The House-voice in his head started to laugh.

"What do you need me for?", he asked after knocking and closing the door behind himself. House was sitting on his desk, watching him – observing.

"What do I need you for? Well… let's see. Little Jimmy is not talking. You are avoiding little Jimmy. Both of you flushed embarrassingly fast at lunch today. That sounds like quite the riddle, don't you think?"

The older doctor stood and grabbed his cane to slowly cross the room. Chase had only made a few steps into the room and was leaning heavily against the wall to the conference room. He felt a lot like fainting.

"You like riddles, my little Robbie, don't you? How about you solve this one: Two doctors, one really big man, one really small – the big one wants the small one to tell him what he did to little Jimmy. What do you think the small one would do?"

"Run for his life."

House was so close. So damn close that it was easy for him to push Chase's back against the wall before the younger man was able to react. Chase felt his boss closer, incredibly close, pressing against his front, trapping him.

"Little Jimmy seems all hurt. So what did you do? What's with the whole avoidance thing?", House whispered, still so close to his underling that Chase felt the older man's breath.

He was fucking scared. His attempts to get away seemed completely in vain, they only provided House with the opportunity to grasp Chase's wrists and hold them secure above the younger man's head, letting his cane fall to the floor in the process.

Some part of him knew that House wouldn't seriously hurt him, so he couldn't quite bring himself to use the advantage of being able to knock his boss down by kicking his leg – that would really hurt House and would probably cost him his job. This wasn't worth losing his job, House couldn't be that serious. But God, he was trapping him with the complete length of his body now, pressing all of himself against Chase's smaller form and he felt so badly vulnerable, like House could do whatever he wanted to him, and he was _so _turned on…

"What did you do? Come on, little Robbie, be a good boy! Who knows? You might get… you know, a treat!"

How he hated House for always using double entendres, how he hated him for doing it now. Chase could practically feel his slacks getting tighter by the second and it could only take so long until House would notice that he… And so he did. Chase saw the realization sweep across his boss's face just like James probably had the night before on his own face.

"Oh, you dirty little Robert! Does this actually turn you on?" A thigh pressed itself against his groin and Chase couldn't help but close his eyes and violently bite his lower lip to keep from moaning.

"So me having power over you turns you on? You get hard because I'm keeping you restrained? Seems like I was more right about you being a masochist than I had thought! Oh, this is so good, Chase, you don't believe what I'll get out of this…"

The younger man whimpered and suppressed a sob that was threatening to escape his lips. He felt so incredibly defeated and that was only making things worse – making his trousers get tighter and tighter. This really was degradation on a completely new level.

"Please don't tell anyone, House, please, this is so embarrassing", he begged, very aware of the fact that it would only make him more aroused, but it wasn't like he had any other chance. "You can't tell anyone, this is sexual harrassment, Cuddy would kill you or… or at least fire you if you told anyone!"

Chase looked up to his boss, pleading with his eyes, only to see the mischievous grin on the older man's face that told him House didn't care – everyone knew that he liked to harrass people. Both of them knew that Cuddy would tell Chase to suck it up and get back to work if he made a complaint. He was trapped in more ways than just this one.

"Please House", Chase begged, his breath hitching as the older doctor increased the pressure on his groin – testing how badly this affected Chase. "Please, let me go and… we can just forget about this, this never happened!"

This time the laughter of House's voice weren't inside his head.

"But why should we? I mean, you are pretty much at my mercy and doesn't that sound like something I would thoroughly enjoy?"

"You… you can humiliate me or hurt me or whatever, but please don't tell anyone!", Chase whispered, even though talking – thinking became harder and harder as certain body parts did the same. House's thigh was rubbing against his crotch, his fingers were tightening their hold on Chase's wrists and everything felt so incredibly _good_, but it _didn't_ and it _shouldn't_ and he just wanted it to stop. "I… I'll do whatever you want, I promise, I'll do anything, just don't tell people, okay? I don't want anyone to know."

"So, you're offering me what exactly? Complete… submission…", House spoke softly, emphasizing the last word by applying more pressure with his thigh. "…and willingness in exchange for me keeping my mouth shut about the fact that you get off on being dominated and treated like crap?"

"I… Oh God, yes, yes I do…"

"Sounds like fun!"

And just like that, the pressure against his crotch, his chest, the grip on his wrists disappeared. House stepped back, scrutinizing his underling, taking in the brightly flushed cheeks, the deep breaths he took to calm himself, the bulge in his trousers. Chase could feel his boss's eyes roaming over his body and suddenly he felt incredibly self-conscious.

"How about we start with you telling me, what happened with Wilson and you?"

"Come on, you… you can't do that, I… Please, you don't need to know that, it's none of your business!"

Again his eyes were pleading as he looked up at his boss, nervously brushing the hair from his face. He was still slumped against the glass wall, not really trusting his legs to hold his complete weight. And oh, he was still so badly aroused and as long as he felt helpless like this, he knew his arousal wouldn't subside.

"I don't think I need to remind you this soon that we have this deal now, do I?"

House smirked and lifted his cane from the ground in order to limp back to his desk, giving Chase the opportunity to carefully do the same and slump down on the other side of the office desk.

"He came over because he thought I could give him what he needed", Chase explained, hoping against hope that it would be enough. House's look told him immediately that it wasn't. "Someone told him I had experience in the field of BDSM and since he was looking for a guy to… to do some of those things with, he thought why not try me."

"Hell, I didn't think Wilson was the one with the bigger the torturing wombats fetish!"

"He… He isn't. He wanted me to…"

The silence that followed was heaven for Chase, who could finally calm down enough to make Chase jr. calm down, too. House was probably thinking about his best friend not telling him he liked something kinky and maybe, just maybe he was off the hook for now.

"Why would he think you would dominate him? Wasn't the saying that opposites attract? Why would a masochist go to a masochist?"

Apparently not.

"Because I am no bloody masochist! I'm not like that for God's sake!"

"Oh well, so it was purely my proximity that just had you withering and whimpering and _begging_ me. It had nothing to do with the fact that you were vulnerable to me and I was able to do whatever I wanted to you, it had nothing to do with the fact that I hurt you and intimidated you."

"No, because I'm not a masochist! My girlfriend was the one who liked to be burned, that's all I said and that clearly shows that I was the dominant part in that relationship!"

"So what happened with Wilson? Did you do him? Did you hurt him? Are you two ashamed of that now and won't look at each other because of that?"

"I… No… No, I didn't hurt him."

"You won't look at him because you didn't hurt him? Well, that's interesting."

"No, I…" Chase swallowed hard. It wasn't like House wouldn't find out the truth anyway. "I couldn't go through with it. We were… doing things and he was restrained and… really ready, but I wasn't. He saw that I wasn't… turned on, so he broke it off saying our safeword and cursing about how I should have just told him I didn't find him attractive or whatever enough to do this with him."

"Now that is even more interesting! Little Robbie tried being the big guy, but failed to get the little guy up by playing the big guy. That kind of sounds to me like you're not really into dominating others like our friend Jimmy. So you are a ma-"

"I am not a masochist!"

"But if you aren't and you couldn't get little Chase up by playing with Wilson, that would just leave the possibility of you not being into guys and then I would really ask myself why you would say yes to Wilson's proposal. So I guess one of the former statements was wrong and since I just had you begging me not to tell anyone that you get aroused when I throw you against a wall and molest you against your will, I'm guessing you are a masochist after all."

"I… I'm not. I can't be, okay? I just can't."

Once again – silence. But this time, House was watching him again, thinking about him, processing what he'd just said.

"Either way, I still have your promise to do whatever I tell you to. That should be fun, don't you think? Oh, the possibilities…"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit, even though it will take some time until we get to the latter. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecureties, don't read this.

Now, enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________

Chase wasn't sure what was driving him insane faster – House's never ending innuendos or his own fantasies about what the older man would make him do. The more time he spent thinking about his uncertain sexual preferences, the more he was afraid of anyone else finding out. House could have probably made him run around the hospital naked and Chase would have rather done that instead of looking into Cameron's or Foreman's or Cuddy's or just _anyone's_ eyes and knowing that they knew about some of the thoughts in his head.

The problem was that until then, House hadn't really done anything. Sure, Chase had had to do silly things like make coffee and more and more and more coffee or go to the dry cleaner's for House, but clearly – that couldn't have been all the older man was planning to do, he had been doing that even before their deal.

Exactly a week after Wilson had shown up at Chase's – and he didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that that had to mean something – everything changed. He was doing some of House's charting which meant that he had to work late in order to have it done until the next morning. He had been certain that House had already gone home, but then the other doctor appeared in the doorway, face cryptically blank.

"I think there's someone you want to talk to."

"I don't know what you're talking about", Chase lied without even looking up. There was only one explanation where House had to have been for the last few hours. Also, the owner of the office those hours had been spent in was being pushed inside the conference room only few moments later. Chase sighed and shoved the charts away. He really didn't have any choice.

The two older doctors sat down opposite the youngest one while it was obvious that not only Chase, but Wilson, too, was forced to have the following conversation.

"And now we will erase the deafening silence and mind numbing tension between you two gals", House started and gave Chase a smirk that was purely evil. "Robbie, tell Jimmy here, why Chase jr. wasn't up to the challenge last week, so my friend doesn't have to kill himself, because he thinks you don't find him pretty enough."

"Oh, come on, House! As if he would actually confess if there was some big secret, just because you tell him to! This is completely ridic-"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Wilson", Chase interrupted, emitting another sigh. "It didn't have anything to do with you. I just wasn't ready for what we were planning to do, so it couldn't have all that much of an effect on me."

"That's a bad Robert!" House sent a scolding look his way. "I bet your mommy told you that telling half of the truth is just like lying!"

"I…" And that was all he could bring himself to say. Their deal was that nobody would have to know as long as Chase did was House told him to, but wasn't this useless? House would refrain from telling anyone by making Chase tell everyone? "This… This wasn't part of the deal, House."

"Come on, did you really think we wouldn't tell Jimmy? He has a right to know! You see, he's been crying himself to sleep every night for the last week and I don't think he gets the whole "It's not you – it's me!" thing if you don't give him the reason why it's you and not him."

"I did not cry myself to sleep! And what deal are you talking about? What the hell is-"

"I couldn't do it", Chase interrupted again. "I don't like hurting others, I didn't feel anything when you were cuffed to the bed, at least not… what I was supposed to feel, it just… wasn't right."

"So, little Robbie, what did you feel when you had him cuffed to the bed, all naked and helpless?"

"I…", he began, only to have his voice falter and give out. He wasn't even sure if the picture House was creating was making him aroused or if he should have just felt humiliated. "I wanted to be… like that."

"Then why didn't you just _say_ something?", Wilson nearly exploded, pushing his chair back and putting his hands on his hips after brushing one through his hair in exasperation.

God, Chase felt so incredibly small right then. He just wanted to crawl into some hole and hide until his fellowship was finally over and he could walk away from the hospital and all it's department heads.

"I didn't want you to know. I thought I could… do it."

"So you thought you'd just _pretend_ to want to fuck me, get it all over with and then forget it ever happened without thinking, just for one tiny second, that I would feel terrible for practically making you have sex with me?"

"I… I'm sorry, I really am sorry, I just… I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to think I was a masochist or something…"

Silence. Again. Chase really didn't feel like looking up and finding out what was going on in the other doctors' minds. Not that House's expression ever revealed anything, but Wilson's would and he didn't want to face any of that.

"Chase…" Wilson's voice was soft all of a sudden and when the youngest of them forced himself to look up, he saw all of what he wanted to avoid. Confusion, pity and – concern. "You just told House that you wanted to be in my position that evening. What we had planned for then would pretty much make you a ma-"

"I'm not a masochist!" And that retort came much too fast for anyone to believe him.

But it probably was exactly that second that had James Wilson care and worry about Chase more than he had ever thought he could.

"So… What's with that deal you mentioned?"

"Chase, answer him."

"We agreed that… that I would do what House told me to in return for his silence about… this and other things."

Wilson's sharp intake of breath surprised all three of them, but only Chase remained surprised when the oncologist turned to glare at his best friend.

"Chase, would you please excuse us? I'm pretty sure, you can go home now. Go home."

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"You can't treat him like your slave if he is that deeply concerned about wanting to be treated like someone's slave! He needs to deal with this, not have you take advantage of him!"

"Who says I'll take advantage of him?"

"Everything I know about you tells me that you will use him and push his buttons until he just _breaks_ into tiny pieces of self-hatred!"

"And what if he likes it when I push his buttons?"

"House, this is not about whether or not he likes it. That boy obviously has some incredibly deep issues he has to learn to deal with and you're clearly not helping with that! Did you notice that he was close to crying when I told him that he probably was a masochist? Did you think about why I didn't confront him about that night last week?"

"Because you were just too darn ashamed of yourself?"

"No! No, House! I didn't confront him, because he did cry that night and even though yes, I felt like crap the whole week, I knew that he was probably feeling worse and I was planning on actually helping him with whatever was going on as soon as I was able to deal with him again. Chase was crying his eyes out after we broke it off and I knew that there was something else, that it wasn't about me not being attractive or anything. He was a mess! I don't think he even remembers half of what he was stuttering and I don't think he needs to. What he needs is someone who is there for him!"

"So you don't think that's just what I'm doing? Being his father figure by telling him what to do, so he can run to me and cry his pretty little eyes out even more so that eventually he'll just accept the facts?"

"No, because I know you. You want to prove some sick point or solve some riddle that's probably even sicker. But this is not Cameron having a crush or Foreman worrying about being too similar to you. Chase probably has a real problem and torturing him because of it… that is just wrong, House, that's really bad, even for you."

"But what if it really isn't all that bad?"

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit, even though it will take some time until we get to the latter. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecureties, don't read this.

Now, enjoy!

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"Just sit down, you make me nervous. You don't need me to grand you permission or order you to do everything!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just not really sure what this is and… what you're planning on doing."

House had finally done what Chase had expected him to do since the beginning. He had told him to come to his apartment. Well, he hadn't actually, he had only told him "9 pm" before wandering off to have lunch with Wilson, but Chase wasn't stupid and he knew where House would be at 9 pm if they didn't have a critical case and he had been right. House had wanted him to turn up on his doorstep at 9 pm straight.

"I'm planning on taking advantage of your promise, my little Robbie! But don't worry, we'll ease into it, you don't have to whore yourself out in exchange for my silence."

The "yet" was hanging in the air between them and while one part of Chase wanted nothing more than to make a run for it, the other wanted to reach out and put that word in his bag, take it home with him and maybe bring it back some time in the future.

That latter part was seriously freaking him out.

"Right now, I want answers. I know, I know, normally it's all about solving the puzzle myself, but sometimes a great mass of information can be just as good as figuring out one piece of information on my own."

Chase did nothing but sigh. Since the talk with Wilson he had pretty much resigned. There was no way out of the uncomfortable deal with his boss, but at least Wilson would supervise whatever House was planning, so it wouldn't damage Chase too badly. He was trapped, so the best way was to obey until House grew tired of him.

"Okay. Ask."

"As if you were the one to decide, little Robbie!" House chuckled. "First one: Are you gay?"

"No, I…" Damn, why couldn't he trust his voice to work when he needed it to? This whole stuttering thing was getting ridiculous. "I like men and women. I'm not gay."

"Ah, so that's one of those answers. You know, like the "I like pain, no I'm not a masochist" one you are so keen on repeating."

"I'm bisexual, House! I've had girlfriends, I've done stuff with guys. Yes, I do probably like sex with men more than I do sex with woman, but I still like girls, so that makes me bisexual."

"Which brings us to the second question: Do you like to top or bottom when you are with guys?"

"Generally I'm the one who tops."

"That's not the answer I was asking for, Chase. I don't want to know what you do, I want to know what you like!"

He really hoped his deep sighs showed his boss how very annoyed he was becoming. "I don't really like anal sex with women, I don't like to be on the giving end with men. You happy now?"

"So why do you top if you don't really like it? That sounds awfully illogical."

"I want to. So I do. That's not a crime, it's nobody's business but mine, whether or not I'm having exactly the type of sexual contact I like best."

Surprisingly, House just nodded and disappeared into the kitchen soon after. Chase was finally able to relax at least a little bit and let himself sink deeper into the cushions of the couch. The apartment was nice and Chase was surprised about how fast he managed to feel pretty much at ease in the soft light of the living room. Even though it was his boss's home, he actually felt more _at home_ than he had ever managed in any of his apartments in the US.

"You want a beer?"

"No, thanks." Since when would House want to be a friendly, considerate host?

"Tea, coffee, water, anything?"

"I'm good."

"How was your first time with a guy?"

What? Chase couldn't believe what he thought he'd just heard. That was just… bold – even for House's standard.

"You want anything to eat? I think I've got some leftover take-out from yesterday."

How did the older man do it? He had only known for about a week that Chase was interested in men and already he was asking about his first time like it was nothing. It was typically House-ish, but…

Chase just really didn't want to answer that and he didn't understand his own fear of House's investigative skills. Why did he think House would find out if he lied? With a sigh he admitted – at least to himself – that it wasn't about that part, he was just too badly afraid that he did _somehow _and would then tell everyone about him. House knew a lot more about him already than he had when they'd agreed on the deal, a lot more stuff Chase didn't want everyone to know about. This was getting worse by the second.

"You didn't answer my last two questions. The last one I know you'll say no to, I only wanted to seem nice so you stop being so cranky. But the one before that needs an actually story for an answer and I won't answer it myself."

"It was just like half of everyone else's. We met somewhere, we went somewhere, he fucked me, we went somewhere separately."

At least he wasn't lying. Too much. There had been quite a lot in between "going somewhere" and "him fucking Chase", but nobody would want to know about whether they walked or took a cab, so he'd just left out a few details he thought were not interesting enough to be mentioned.

Instead of challenging or insulting or questioning him further, House got up again and limped back into the kitchen without another word. The younger doctor wasn't sure if his boss believed his story, but something was telling him that it probably meant that he was preparing for something bigger if he chose to believe him. When he returned, House was carrying another bottle of beer and Chase made to complain about really not wanting anything, when the older man grunted and pressed the bottle into his hand.

"I didn't want you here to listen to fairy tales, I could have watched the OC if I wanted those. And they say alcohol makes you tell the truth, so drink up, little Robbie and then tell me how you really lost that virginity of yours."

"I have to drive home, I can't drink enough to make me lose my inhibitions", he complained now and tried to keep himself from pouting. "I already told you the truth, House, there really isn't that much to it."

"Then let's get into the juicy details. How long did you know him before it happened?"

"A few months, I think."

"Ah, so there's more than just meeting and wandering off somewhere to fuck! Was he your boyfriend?"

"No, I haven't had… We weren't a couple or something. We liked each other, went out a few times and then it just happened."

"So it was casual sex between friends?"

"Yeah, you could call it something like that."

"How was the sex? Was it hot? Were you in pain? Did you want to do it again straight after the first time?"

Chase flushed in about a thousand shades of red. He didn't want to tell House. It really, really wasn't fair that House was asking that and that he had practically no choice but to answer truthfully for he was so terribly afraid of others knowing about his issues.

"It was good, it was hot, it hurt and I didn't want to do it directly after, but it wasn't like I never wanted to do it again."

"Did you do anything kinky?", House finally asked the jackpot question and Chase's face went pale in a matter of seconds. "Oh, I hit a nerve, didn't I? What was it? Did he tie you down? Did he spank you?"

"We kind of did this… role play… thing. Nothing big."

"Did you wear a french maid costume? Or did he make you wear a diaper?"

Cue Chase's face to turn bright red again. Why did House know all those things? He couldn't have actually done any of that. It was probably because of all that porn he had watched. Everyone knew that he watched it, even at work, mostly just out of interest, nobody had ever caught him being actually affected by it.

"We didn't dress up, we only pretended to be in another situation than we actually were in…"

"Just say it already, you idiot! You won't get out of this and I tell everyone you like being diapered if you don't tell me the truth!"

"We did that rape thing, okay?", Chase nearly yelled and grasped the bottle of beer from the coffee table with an exasperated huff. He took a long swig and slammed it down again before crossing his arms. "He pretended to assault me in the staircase of my apartment building and I pretended that I didn't want it. It that enough? Can I go now?"

House's reaction in terms of facial expression was an actual competition to Foreman, who Chase considered as the king of raised eyebrows. God, he was so incredibly ashamed of himself. He never wanted anyone to know about that story. If anything, people asked about first times overall and then he had a cute story about his first real girlfriend to tell. He hadn't ever expected someone to be interested in the details of his first time with a man.

"As a first time? A rape role play? You are even kinkier than I had thought! Was it his idea and you went along with it?"

"No, actually it was… pretty much my idea. A friend of mine who liked about the same stuff that I liked told me that it was fun and exciting and I should try it some time, so I suggested it and he was all for doing it that way. It wasn't his first time."

"But it was yours. Wasn't that really weird for him?"

"If you… If you know you are into that stuff you don't have to do it the normal way, just to have done it once awkwardly and then start doing it the way you will actually enjoy it", Chase explained, avoiding House's gaze and keeping his eyes focused on the two bottles on the small table. "We spoke about how to keep it safe without spoiling the fun. We had a safeword and agreed that he had to find a way to… prepare me, so he wouldn't do damage. It was probably safer than what inexperienced high school boys do to each other."

Chase swallowed hard and sighed. He really wanted this interrogation to be _over_ already. He felt humiliated and exposed and there was no way that House would ever believe he wasn't really into all that he claimed not to enjoy after that story. Chase couldn't even keep up the façade of his own thoughts that he wasn't like that, as soon as he thought about that first time. That had been all about actually getting hurt and being physically dominated by his free will.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat? I think I'm going to heat up some and I won't give you anything later if you don't say you want some now."

"I… How can…" And there was the stuttering again. But he couldn't believe it! How the hell could House just change topics after a confession like that? It was just impossible! While he himself didn't even think about accepting anything to eat, his stomach had a quite different opinion and chose that moment to rumble loudly.

"I'll take that as a yes. You can have some chop suey, I don't like it, but Wilson loves that stuff and made me order it for him."

A few minutes later – minutes which Chase spent completely overwhelmed by the progression of the evening – House appeared holding two takeout boxes in one hand. He dumped one on Chase's lap and then sat down next to him. He even turned on the TV before he started eating and his employee couldn't stop staring at him.

"So you ask me about the most humiliating and private experiences of my life and then we just turn around and pretend we're mates doing some bonding?", he forced himself to ask, not even trying to not sound as incredulous as he was.

"Why not? I asked, you answered, I proved a point and achieved what I was planning on achieving."

"And what the bloody hell would that be? Degrade me and make me feel like crap?"

"Well… There was that. But generally I want to make you think about what you've done and what you want to do, so that one of these days you can stop fighting."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecureties, don't read this.

Feedback is greatly appreciated and will make me want to write – only 5 more chapters are done yet, so I need motivation!

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Chase sulked for two days after that. Yes, the rest of the night had been quite nice, eating take out, watching TV, talking about pretty much nothing at all. The morning after Chase had mostly focused on the "House forcing him to talk about his first time of gay sex" part and kept himself from thinking about the fact that he had actually enjoyed spending time with someone familiar outside of work.

He was still sulking when House paged him. The small screen said "811 – clinic restroom" and Chase rolled his eyes. "811" told him that it was kind of an emergency, but not really one. House had explained to them that a "711" meant they could continue treating a patient and then comply with his orders, an "811" meant they could continue if they were currently doing any kind of life-preserving measures, but had to hurry to comply after that. "911" should even make Chase put down the scalpel and rush out of surgery if he could actually get pages while in the OR, but it wasn't like he would ever go along with that.

"811"s were the kind of pages he liked the least and one of those telling him to go to some restroom in a part of the hospital that was most likely to be deserted at a time like 9 pm just couldn't mean anything good. Still, he couldn't really not obey, so he left the lab where he was currently testing their patient's urine and snuck into the free clinic part of the hospital building. It was closed, but doctors were allowed in, in case they needed something from one of the exam rooms.

He really didn't want anyone to ask him what he was doing in there right now.

The restroom was even darker than the other parts of the clinic, seeing as there were neither windows, nor any lights on, while there were emergency lights everywhere else.

"House? Are you here? Where the hell is the light switch? Can I turn on the lights?"

Silence. And then – breathing. So, so close and then there were hands gripping both his wrists, pulling them behind his back and pressing them against is spine, like a police man would do.

"House? What fuck… What is this?"

"Shut it, Robbie."

Well, at least it really was House, which meant he was relatively safe and that he should better obey his demands.

House obviously closed the small gap Chase had left instead of closing the door, hoping he would be able to see better as soon as his eyes got used to the darkness. Now everything was pitch black around him and he shivered slightly, not sure himself if it was because he was scared or cold or both.

Or excited.

He had to swallow hard as he felt himself become aroused from imagining what the other doctor could be planning.

"Good boy, Robbie. Talk when I ask questions, otherwise you are not allowed to make any kind of sound if I don't tell you to."

His excitement and shame were growing equally fast.

Chase felt himself be maneuvered farther into the room, but had no clue were he was, he rarely used the public bathrooms.

"Lean your head forward, only your head."

Cold tiles made him aware of how hot his face felt, he was probably badly flushed. Good thing House couldn't see him.

"You do know that you could be completely screwed right now, don't you? Nobody's close enough to hear you if you scream, no one will come in here for hours. Are you aware of just how fucked up this could be?"

"If I really want to leave, I'll kick your leg and run."

House chuckled and once again Chase shivered, now from how close the other man was, close enough for him to feel House's breath on his neck. "Do you actually believe that, Robbie? Come on, I'll humor you. If you manage to escape I'll leave you alone for a week."

Chase's shame grew a bit faster than his arousal for a few seconds, because the voice in his head that still resembled his boss's mocked him about really wanting to stay where he was. But a week of freedom sounded nice and he knew that House's leg hurt anyway, one kick wouldn't cripple him any more and he was pretty sure the older man had taken a pill before coming down here.

So he did it. Chase started to struggle, trying to free his wrists while at the same time turning enough to get his knee high enough to shove it against House's leg. He heard the deep grunt, but instead of loosening the hold on Chase's wrists as originally expected, House managed to slam Chase's front against the wall and trap him there with the whole length of his body.

In horror the younger doctor noticed that House was a lot stronger than expected and really could physically dominate him.

"That didn't go too well, did it?"

"You bastard!"

"Oh Robbie… I'm quite a bit taller than you and seriously better trained. Looks like I've got the upper hand after all."

"I can't believe you…"

"I guess we're back to you obeying my orders now. Also, you'll be addressing me as House in every sentence you utter. You understand?"

Chase sighed. "Yes." He swallowed. "I do, House."

"Good boy. Resume your position."

And there he was again, his forehead touching the tiles, half hard in his pants, a strong hand holding his wrists together on his back. House wasn't breathing onto his neck anymore and his body wasn't pressed against Chase's, whose back started to feel cold.

Another shiver.

"This darkness thing is pretty cool. Only problem is that I can't see you. So I guess we'll have to find alternatives for my vision. Let's start with talking. Tell he whether you're aroused or not."

He couldn't answer that! God, really, he couldn't just say that being manhandled and knowing House could really do _anything_ to him was exciting him.

"You know, if you don't talk or you lie, I'll have to use feeling as the next alternative. Decide for yourself, which one sounds better, Robbie. Again – is this arousing you?"

"Yes, yes it is, House."

"Now that I call a fast answer! Let's try this one more time. Tell me why you're turned on."

Chase felt his face burn. Thank God it was dark… He was afraid of telling the truth, yet he was pretty sure that House wouldn't hesitate to try the feeling-alternative and actually being touched sexually by his boss still terrified him. Who knew how he'd react? Chase really didn't.

"Because this isn't fake, House. At least it's not fake for the physical part, you're not just mentally keeping me here, you… you do have control over this."

"Good answer. Don't move now."

He complied, even managed to avoid a shudder when he felt House's hand on his stomach. Oh God, was he going to touch him? But Chase had answered! Why would he successfully use this as a threat and then do it anyway? The hand crept down to his pants and his fingers disappeared beneath the waistband.

Chase bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, his erection betraying his thoughts about not wanting House to touch him.

The scrub pants were pushed down to pile around his ankles, his boxer briefs the only thing covering his privates. Would House jerk him off? That really sounded too simple and not House-ish enough. Chase's heart was beating faster with anticipation by the second.

But the hand vanished.

"I want you to touch yourself, Robbie. Leave your briefs on. Come on, bring yourself off!"

The younger one's breath hitched. God, his boss had just told him to masturbate standing only a foot away from him. This couldn't be real, it just couldn't. However, House let go off his right wrist, grabbing it with the other hand and laying his hand flat on his stomach, still clasping his left hand tightly while letting go of the right one completely.

"Touch yourself. Now." His voice seemed more dominant, not just stating but actually ordering. Chase felt himself twitch.

He obeyed. Slowly his own hand wandered down his stomach, beneath the waistband and then he closed his fingers around himself. Immediately his knees buckled at the contact and he was surprisingly relieved to feel House's arm around his chest, holding him up until the moment of weakness was gone.

A long breath crossed his lips and his mind became slightly clouded. Chase already knew he wouldn't be able to last long. For three days now he had taken cold showers or used cold, wet paper towels every time he had felt himself become aroused instead of beating off. He couldn't stand masturbating thinking of what his boss might force him to do.

Chase's instinct for passing time had vanished completely and he didn't know if it had been 30 seconds or five minutes until House started talking again.

"You're doing good. Do you enjoy this?"

"Ughhh… Yeah…"

"You want me to back off?"

"I… don't know…"

The older man chuckled again and pressed himself against Chase's back even more than he had been doing since he'd had to prevent Chase from collapsing. His arm was still draped around the other one's chest, but now his hand started moving and Chase felt it creeping beneath his scrub top.

He moaned at the contact and willingly leaned in.

The hand wandered up and he whimpered as those fingers reached one of his nipples and pinched hard.

"What did I tell you about making sounds without me telling you to?"

"I'm… sorry… House."

"You better be, Robbie. Now tell me what you're thinking about while doing this."

"I'm not… really thinking."

He was panting now and both knew that it wouldn't be much longer until he came.

"But I want you to be thinking. How about that time in my office? You know, when you begged me and were ready to kneel before me and kiss my feet just so I would keep that secret of yours. Think about how you were pressed against the wall, aroused just like you are now, just because I was close to you, trapping you with my body."

House's hand was playing with his nipples now, wandering from one to the other and back after some moments of caressing. A few times he gently scraped his fingernails over the sensitive skin and Chase had to bite his lip once more so he wouldn't make some kind of approving sound.

"Are you close?"

"Uh-huh…" He nodded, since House would certainly feel the movement and he didn't quite trust himself to form words. Thinking about that first encounter and having someone touch him was incredibly, he hadn't allowed himself to jerk off picturing that scene after it had taken place and now it was purely amazing to think about it while having House that close to him again, while being held captive again.

"Moan when you come."

"Yeah…"

"Really close now? Are you coming? Come on, Robbie… Moan for me."

And moan he did.

His climax felt more intense than ever before when he had masturbated and he hadn't really done anything more than that. Only House's hand on his chest, the older man's body against his back…

God, he had just come in front of his boss. The darkness really was a blessing and he wondered if House had kept the light off to make this less awkward for Chase. That would have actually been a nice thing to do. But he had also made him come all over his briefs and that meant he had to walk to the locker room with a wet spot on his crotch. Still – another thing that had made the situation easier for him, because he didn't have to really be naked and House had been able to press against him, which would have been awkward if he hadn't been wearing anything down there.

"The light switch is right next to the door, try reaching a bit lower to find it."

Chase hadn't been sure what House would do. If he would humiliate him, mock him or be out of character and hold him until he had calmed down completely. It surprised him that House not taking advantage and being cruel, but still staying pretty detached felt more comfortable than any of the other possibilities.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

*insert clever way to make everyone who's reading this want to write a review*

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"You having sex with him yet?"

"Very subtle, Wilson."

"Well… Are you?"

"What if I am? Are you going to be all jealous, because you had him first and wanted him for yourself? Or are you going to be all jealous, because I know you both have a thing for being dominated, but I'm focusing on him and not you?"

"I'll have you know that I am in no way sexually attracted to you. I may be bisexual, but I'm not tri-sexual, I'm only into men and women, not into you."

"What? I'm a new gender now? I think that's worth a journal article. Maybe Chase will write it."

"So he does know your privates enough to write an article about them?"

"God, you really are pathetic. You want one of us so badly?"

"No, under the circumstances I want neither of you. I'm just really worried about Chase and I like the person he is when he's not in the conference room kissing your ass."

"What makes you think he isn't kissing my ass outside of the conference room? We could very well be-"

"Please, House. I don't want to hear your jokes. I still can't believe I'm letting you go through with this deal thing. Who knows what damage you are causing?"

"I made him tell me about his first time with a guy. And I made him jerk off in a hospital restroom at night. That's pretty much it."

"Should I really believe that you didn't make him suck you off after that?"

"Come on. I bet the boy thinks you're his safety net, because you know about this, so he'll come running to you if something bad happens. Also, I get how obsessive you are about this, you'll probably make him sue me if I do something he doesn't like."

"That might very well happen."

"Whatever. Not like I'm planning that."

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The next day House wasn't at work and Chase was surprised again, because he wasn't relieved, he actually didn't expect tension, so there was no point in dreading seeing the older man again.

He worked in NICU for the day, glad that he had been offered to take on a shift there instead of having to go do clinic hours like Cameron and Foreman. He was already blushing every time he heard the word "clinic" and felt himself get a little lost in the memory when he passed the doors.

Chase wasn't sure why he wasn't ashamed about what had happened, like he had been after the incident in the office, because he had shown how House's way of acting around him affected him. He tried not to think about that too much – he was pretty happy that he didn't have to deal with self-loathing for a day or two.

When he went to the locker room to change into street clothes after his shift and opened his locker, he was yet again surprised. There was a note and it wasn't on the outside, it was on the _inside _of the door to his locker.

"We're not doing it like this again. You're the one who's got all the great experience, you shouldn't be so stupid to not ask for a safeword, you moron. From now on it's "lupus", so don't you dare suggesting it in a differential!"

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"Looks like it'll be a long time reading all those."

The store clerk took his time placing all seven books into the bag, quite obviously trying to think of some supposedly funny comment for the man with the cane in front of him.

Ah! That was it!

"Are you trying to find new uses for the cane or is it just… educational reading material?"

He felt really witty today, he couldn't let the opportunity of making fun of a guy buying six books about kinky sex stuff and one coming-out guide for adults go to waste.

Even though he regretted expressing his genius a little bit, when he had to shudder slightly at the glare from his customer…

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"Where have you been? Neither Cuddy nor Wilson knew why you didn't come in yesterday! She said she'd call and make you, but you never turned up, didn't you?"

It was nice to have Cameron. Chase was used to not really caring about House's antics, but right now he desperately wanted to know all about why his boss had taken the day off. He couldn't just ask himself without his colleagues wondering what was up, so he listened carefully when Cameron did, pretending to look over a file.

"Took the day to catch up on some reading, we obviously didn't have a case anyway."

Was he lying? House never answered those questions truthfully, but generally his lies where obscene and made them – excluding Foreman – blush. Chase wondered if the pain had been bad the day before. Maybe he had hurt House after all when he'd tried to struggle? Well, he wouldn't have to be afraid of that happening again in the future, House had proven his strength, Chase had liked it and now it was a fact between them.

And somehow thinking about that fact made him feel a little bit giddy.

"Still no case? Foreman, go do my clinic hours, Cuddy told me yesterday didn't count, you didn't even use my name tag and name on the forms. You two do whatever."

For the first time since the night Wilson had shown up at his doorstep, Chase didn't feel nauseous at the thought of spending a long time with nothing to do. Something about that meeting with House in the restroom and the note posted to his locker door made him feel a whole lot better about the situation.

He didn't have to fear feeling ashamed for hours because he couldn't think about anything else and couldn't really do anything but thinking. It actually felt okay and he still had the note in his pocket, so he could touch it from time to time and get the fluttering sensation in his stomach back – caused by the fact that House had been feeling guilty and cared about his well being despite his games.

His boss settled into his office chair and a few minutes later he was reading a thick paperback book, his feet on the desk, glasses on his nose. Chase liked the glasses and all of a sudden that thought made his cheeks flush. Somehow thinking that wasn't as innocent as it had been.

God, House made Chase like him better by torturing him. He was relieved when he noticed that he, however, still hated having to expose his every thought to the older man if ordered. That was good, very good.

This really wasn't the time to suddenly fall in love and worship the misanthropic jerk.

The rest of the morning was spent organizing files, doing paperwork and crosswords, cleaning the coffee machine and reading by the part of the diagnostics department remaining in the office and conference room. When lunchtime came around, Chase was startled out of his thoughts about "17 down" by his boss yelling for him to get is ass into the office. Cameron had already left to have lunch away from the hospital with friends, so Chase knew that House meant him, even though the older man never looked up from his book.

Seconds later Chase was standing in front of House's desk with scarlet cheeks, being ignored. The otherwise completely black cover of the book House hadn't put down all morning said "Tied" and in the subtitle it read something about "personality", but he couldn't see the rest because of how House was holding the book. And he held it to make sure Chase would be able to read the title.

House was catching up with _that_ kind of reading? He hadn't lied! But now that Chase knew what he'd been talking about, he blushed just like he would have if House had told them he'd have been spending the day with three hookers watching them play naked twister.

"Real page-turner", House stated while putting the book down and focusing on Chase. "It's lunchtime. Go get Wilson, we're going out to eat. Oh, and give this to him, I bet he won't pay for me if I give it to him in front of his favorite female waitress."

Chase actually chuckled out loud when he saw what kind of book House had pushed closer to his side of the table. "Half of your life straight – …that means there's still another half left to be happy." House had bought is best friend a coming-out guide! God, he was happy that hadn't been for him.

However, House obviously wanted to read up on Chase's issues himself and for some reason, he wanted Chase to _know_ that he did.

Only on his way over – hiding the book beneath his lab coat – he realized that he'd been invited to have lunch with the two older doctors. Hadn't he? Chase wasn't sure. House hadn't really invited him, he had ordered, but did his "we" include Chase? And why did he feel disappointed by the prospect that maybe, House only wanted him to be his messenger boy and then go out with Wilson on his own?

He had to shake his head to clear it of those pathetic thoughts, before he managed to knock on Wilson's door. Just because he didn't have many people to spend time with he didn't have to want to spend his time with House or Wilson. He wanted to go to lunch with Cameron or Foreman, maybe the latter would come up to get his wallet and ask him to join him in the cafeteria!

"Are you busy? House sent me."

"No, come in, I was just thinking that he'd probably be getting hungry around now."

"Yeah, he wants you to come over." Chase swallowed hard. He already felt uncomfortable in Wilson's company, the book thing certainly wouldn't help with that. And really – that proved he didn't actually want to have anything to do with the two older doctors. "He also said to give you this."

His cheeks burned when he put down the book and saw Wilson's face flush as he read the title.

"I hate my best friend." Both men chuckled, but Chase noticed that Wilson didn't throw it in the trash or put it in some drawer to hide and never look at it again, he bent down and put it in his briefcase – to take it home.

A few moments later they were on their way back to diagnostics and Chase was back to wondering about the lunch thing. It was probably best if he didn't even act like he thought he'd been invited. It had nothing to do with their deal or what had been happening between them, Chase had always hated to be humiliated by House for things like that. He'd hated the "Daddy's doing that, you're still just a little boy, go hide in the closet" comments from day one.

So Chase took the door into the conference room and sat down instead of following Wilson into House's office. He ignored the feeling in his chest like he'd always done. This wasn't new, it couldn't be, because he'd always been jealous of the older men's friendship, he was probably imagining the sharp edge the pain had today.

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"Go get the boy."

"What? I thought we were going to lunch?"

"We are. Go get the boy."

"You… You want to take him with us?"

"That's why I said 'we'. Now go and get the boy."

"This is… Don't you dare try anything while I'm there! I may tolerate this, but I don't want to see it. Leave him alone or leave him here!"

"Whatever. Now go get him, will you?"

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Only three and a half chapters written after this one, I really need to be motivated, you know ;)

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He felt more like a child than all those times House had called him a little boy. Chase was tempted to walk one step behind the other two, but his boss glared and he blushed furiously and caught up with them. It reminded him of the early years of his childhood, back when there still had been times his father had been home and had taken the time to go eat out with them. His parents had talked, he had trailed after them, pretty much ignored, but happy to be with them anyway.

House directed them to a diner around the corner that he and Wilson obviously visited frequently, seeing that they both went to the same table without hesitating. Chase wasn't sure on which side of the booth he was supposed to sit – next to House or next to Wilson? God, why hadn't he just told Wilson that he was planning on having lunch with Foreman?

"Sit next to Wilson."

He couldn't suppress the relieved sigh and felt himself blush all over again when Wilson threw him a disturbed look. He was glad that at least House understood that he felt insecure around them and wasn't sure on what terms he was there. Was this part of their deal? That meant obeying House. Was this just work related? Was it social? He really had no idea, no idea at all.

"You haven't even thanked me for your present. I spent ten minutes reading different books until I found one that would fit your situation."

"Oh, I'd be touched if I actually needed help to come out."

"You can do it on your own? Wow, you're better than half of America's gay teenagers!"

"No, I don't have to come out with anything. I'm not gay. I've been married. I openly admit that I'm bisexual, don't I, Chase?"

The younger man was startled and promptly managed to drop the menu he was pretending to read instead of openly listening to the conversation.

"Uhm, yeah, he told me."

"That may very well be, but he never told me, his best friend!" Now it was House's turn to pretend and Chase looked down to avoid seeing the man's pout for longer than necessary. There was no way it could be normal to call your boss cute.

The menu was pretty long and he couldn't really decide if he wanted a Hawaiian pizza or if he should have the breakfast special, it sounded good, but would they serve it for lunch?

"Because I knew you'd make fun of the fact that I took the time to tell you about it. You never told me, you just introduced Hank as one of your ex-boyfriends and I never had the chance to do that since we never met my ex-boyfriend."

"You are _so_ stuck in the closet, Wilson."

Hank? That was a creepy name. Chase wondered what kind of man that was, what a relationship with House looked like. Well, at least he knew now that House didn't have to force himself so touch another man like he had touched Chase. That was really, really good to know.

"Hello to my favorite doctors! What can I get you today?"

Chase looked up to glance at the waitress, a pretty, but not overly beautiful woman. He liked that and thought about whether he'd be allowed to flirt with her.

Allowed? Okay. So at least for him this clearly was part of the deal-meetings.

"Hello to you, too, Trixi! I'll have the chef salad and a glass of orange juice, please."

"As always, Dr. Wilson." The waitress smiled and actually winked at Wilson. Obviously it wasn't a good idea to flirt with her, Wilson looked pretty into her. "And what about you, guys?"

"We'll both have the breakfast special and a coke."

"House!" Wilson glared at his friend. "Let him decide for himself. Just because you eat nothing but breakfast food doesn't mean he can't eat like a normal human being. Chase, what do you want?"

Oh God. He couldn't believe it. House had ordered for him. Wilson was trying to protect him. And that waitress was looking at him like he had a second pair of ears. He was a grown up man and had two other men argue about whether he could choose is own lunch. This was beyond humiliating and now everyone at the table was staring at him and he had forgotten what his other choice had been and he also really wanted the breakfast special now. House's gaze was questioning, not challenging, which didn't help, because this meant he didn't have to obey.

But he wanted to and had a feeling that House knew it.

"The breakfast special's fine, really."

"S-Sure, boys. I'll be back in a minute with your drinks."

Finally he wasn't the center of attention anymore. However, he should better not come here for lunch again, he didn't want to know what that woman thought of him now. He also didn't want to know what Wilson thought, because he was looking it him strangely. Chase lowered his gaze, feeling ten inches tall again and the pressing urge to hide making breathing feel uncomfortable.

"So, are you going to read it or did I spend 12$ for nothing?"

Trust House to change the topic when needed without making it look like he's doing it for you. Chase smiled at his thought and managed to look up.

"I'll… have a look. Maybe there's dating advice in there."

Approximately five minutes later they got their food, accompanied by a weird look from the waitress for Chase. He was happy to have something to do – namely eat – after he'd been silent for the last few minutes, because the other two didn't include him and he wasn't feeling secure enough to include himself.

"Gimme your sausages."

"House! At least ask if you can have his food or just steal it or whatever! You said you wouldn't do this in front of me!"

"You like them, Chase?"

Face red, he lowered his gaze. "No, I don't."

And House traded his bacon for Chase's sausages, neither of them noticing Wilson alternating between staring at House, Chase and their plates.

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"Why did you want to bring him? He obviously didn't enjoy himself and we could have had much more fun without him."

"I had great fun, Jimmy!"

"Well, I didn't, because he clearly didn't. "

"Don't be too sure about that. Also, I need you to tell me everything he told you about his likes and dislikes. Especially his dislikes."

"What do you care? Everybody lies. He lied about everything, he made up what he liked to do because he doesn't like to _do_ anything."

"Right, but he probably told you exactly what he doesn't like being done to him, because he wouldn't have wanted to do it to you."

"So either you are trying to be considerate and not hurt him or you're trying to find out how you can torture him even more. You don't do considerate and I'm furious enough to go through with the suing thing. So leave me alone right now, House, and more importantly leave Chase the hell alone!"

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"Can I come in?"

His heart was racing. It had been a quiet afternoon, enough time for Chase's thoughts about his lunch with House and Wilson to go wild and make him slightly sick. He really needed to talk to House and he was willing to pray for House to take him seriously.

"Do I look like I've got time to chat?"

"Uhm… Yes, you do."

"Well, then stop hugging the door handle."

It was a good thing he knew his boss long enough to decipher when sounding sarcastic actually meant he was being honest.

"Would you tell me why you wanted me to come with you today? I'm driving myself insane thinking about it and I can't figure it out! Wilson didn't want me there, you didn't really talk to me and now I can't ever go back there, that waitress probably thinks I'm retarded. I just don't get it!"

Chase was slightly out of breath at the end of his speech and let himself fall onto one of the chairs opposite House's. Now he could only hope that he'd get something out of mustering up all that strength to talk to his boss like that. House, however, didn't say anything for an uncomfortably long time. He looked at the younger man, scrutinizing him, obviously deep in thought.

"I have a proposal. We'll make another deal. I will tell you the answer to one direct question you can ask me and in return, you will not run to Wilson for whatever we'll be doing after I answer. You can run to Cameron or Foreman, Cuddy or whoever if you want to cry your eyes out, but you'll leave Wilson out of it for now."

Oh God, that sounded really bad. What could House be planning for him?

"No, I won't slice you up and leave you bleeding, I won't do anything bad, I just need your word that you won't tell Wilson we did anything at all."

Okay, that was a lot better. Chase figured they'd probably argued after lunch, possibly about something to do with him, maybe Wilson had wanted House to stop. Chase didn't want him to stop. This was actually better than having House mock him, having House make jokes and innuendos until finally someone figured it all out… No, he was okay with how things had been going, at least these last few days.

"Okay. I'll think of a question."

That was a once in a lifetime opportunity. He could ask House whatever he wanted. About a million questions popped up in his head. From pathetic ones like "Do you care about me?" to deep ones like "Do you want to ever be happy with someone?", everything deserved an answer. He could ask why he had started the deal thing, why he was taking small steps and didn't just fuck him right away. He could ask if he enjoyed what they were doing. Chase had no clue, until an idea popped up between possible questions.

"This isn't it, but do you think we could make this into a… more permanent thing? I won't ask anything general, only something concerning the last 24 hours if you do this again in the future, let me ask something in turn for something you want but… can't order me to do."

"Whatever."

A small smile appeared on his face, but he hid it. House's retort was as much of a "That sounds good" as one could get. Now he only needed a question about the last 24 hours. What had been most surprising today? The whole lunch thing. What part of that could he explain the least? House ordering his lunch like that.

"What did you get out of ordering lunch for me?"

Yeah, that was worth knowing. It couldn't have just been House showing off that he could make Chase comply with his orders. There had to be something and he had a feeling that ordering for him had been the reason why he'd brought Chase along in the beginning.

"I wanted to prove another point. I know what you like to eat, I knew you'd pick the pizza, because you always do if you can get the Hawaiian kind at the cafeteria, but I've seen you eat breakfast for lunch about a dozen times. Both were equally likely. I controlled what you'd have, while Wilson offered you to choose for yourself. You chose being controlled and ate the whole plate. You never eat that much. So I knew that having been controlled about the choice made you feel like it was important what you did with it. You cherished it, didn't let Wilson or a full stomach take it away from you. I got the knowledge of how much you're submissive in your personality, not just your work behaviour and sexual identity out of this."

Chase swallowed and averted his gaze. That was a lengthy explanation for what had actually happened exactly like that during lunch. He had thought that the food tasted especially good and had felt the need to eat even the last bit of it. He hadn't really expected that much behind his thoughts, but House's words sounded logical – and made his stomach flutter and cheeks blush.

"In a stress situation you didn't have time to think it over you chose the feeling of being controlled over your pride, over your sense to keep everything private, over the need to have others think highly of you. I needed to know that."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Thanks to all of you for your reviews! You make me happy!

Special thanks to OnTheHourEveryHour for commenting on every single chapter until now *jumps you*

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"What are we doing here? People are actually using the restroom during the day, anyone could walk in on us!"

"It's time to prove one more point to you. If you figure it out, say it and we're done for today. If you don't, I'll make you."

"That doesn't sound good", Chase murmured more to himself than House. The older man had chosen a restroom close to radiology this time. Not used as often as the clinic one during the day or the ones on the oncology or the maternal ward, but still quite frequently.

"We're back to the no-talking rule. You can make sounds however you want today, you'll be the one to deal with the consequences. You understand?"

"Yeah, House."

"Very good. Now come on."

His boss motioned for Chase to follow him into the second to last one of the stalls and closed and locked the door after both of them had stepped in. Seconds later, the door from the hallway was opened and the younger doctor was glad they weren't out in the open anymore.

"Pull off your shirt." House's voice wasn't more than a loud breath, audible only to Chase, for he had leaned in close enough to have the other one feel him talking.

Chase complied, pulling off his tie, unbuttoning his dress shirt and hanging it onto the hook on the door, while House took the tie. The air felt slightly chilly on his bare chest and back, which made him want to step a bit closer to his boss. Soon they heard water hit one of the sinks and then they were alone again.

House looked at his fellow, he stared into his eyes until Chase wasn't sure if he really only felt uncomfortable with it. It was intense and – very erotic, especially as House started talking again, voice husky and so very quiet.

"Close your eyes."

Again, Chase obeyed and then his tie became a blindfold and one of House's hands was placed onto his chest. One sense taken from him, the others heightened and the contact felt more exciting by the second.

"Kneel. Use the walls, so you don't fall."

Oh God. He actually _felt_ the blood rush to his lower regions. There weren't many reasons for Chase to kneel.

"Good." House's hand was on his shoulder now. "Open my pants."

Those words only proved his last thoughts right. House wanted him to blow him. He finally did something that would initiate a real sexual relationship between them – however one would call it. House wanted him to satisfy his needs and it surprised Chase that he was okay with it, that he started feeling for his boss's zipper and button without second thoughts.

As he had opened both and made to push the pants down a bit, House tightened his hold on Chase's shoulder, telling him to stop. He didn't see, but somehow sensed that the older man was leaning forward and then he heard the telltale sign of the door being unlocked.

Whatever excitement had been there before – it vanished. Anyone could come in there! They might see him, blindfolded, sucking House's cock! This wasn't okay, this so wasn't okay.

"Go on."

Hell, House actually wanted to go through with this. He couldn't believe it. This wasn't nice or exciting or arousing or anything. This was terrifying and Chase felt his hands start to tremble. He began to beg whatever force powerful enough to not let anyone come in while he was doing this.

Slowly he reached forward again and pushed House's pants down. His hands were shaking like leaves by the time they tried to clasp the waistband of the briefs House was obviously wearing. He didn't want this, he didn't want to do this…

And suddenly, House grunted, sounding exasperated and for a moment Chase worried that he'd been taking too long. But then the other man shoved him back, making him lose his balance and sink against the door, which House was locking at the same time. Chase had no clue what had happened. He heard clothes rustling and then the tie was ripped off of his head.

House looked so angry, but… disappointed and even sad at the same time.

"You moron! You stupid idiot!"

Chase swallowed hard, pressing himself further into the corner. What the hell had he done wrong?

"Did you think I broke into your locker for fun? Huh? Did you?"

"No, you… you left that note…"

"Yes! I did! I left you a note calling you a moron for not asking for a safeword and what do you do? You don't fucking use it! How stupid are you, Chase?"

"I didn't… It's not like you hurt me or…"

"But you didn't want this! You're still trembling and you weren't the least bit aroused, you were scared out of your mind that somebody might come in! That is hurting you and you idiot don't use your safeword."

And suddenly he understood. "The point you were trying to prove… You… You wanted to prove I wouldn't use the safeword even if I wanted to?"

"Yes, you moron! At least you get it after I spell it out for you!"

Chase didn't know what to say. House was angry at the prospect that he'd rather be hurt than risk the possibility that someone would find out about the deal. He was right to – that had been stupid. Chase also knew that House actually _giving_ him a safeword meant he wanted him to use it as a way of saying "no" without having to worry about House not keeping his end of the deal. God, he was an idiot…

The older man sighed deeply and used his cane to force Chase to look up at him.

"You won't ever be able to deal with all those issues if you don't get your act together and start actually thinking about what is happening. I get that you want to be controlled, that you want the control to be taken away from you sometimes, but I won't do that if I don't know you'll take it back if you're in danger of getting hurt and no other sane person will do it either. Nobody can ever know you well enough to know all your boundaries, you need to show them, so people don't cross them, or you will be hurt and you will be running from what you want for the rest of your life because you can't see the difference between trusting someone with some control over you and people just taking it from you."

He felt like crying. He felt like curling up in a ball and crying his eyes out, just like House had predicted. But he also felt a lot like apologizing.

"Tomorrow you'll give me a list of everything that scares the crap out of you or just makes you uncomfortable regarding all sexual activities. If you don't or you're not honest with me, I'm calling the deal off. I won't tell people, but I won't go on holding your hand and showing you the way like I have been. This is your choice to make."

Luckily the outside door was only opened just before House's last sentence, so nobody could hear anything specific and House could finish his orders. But as soon as he did finish, he opened the door of the stall they were in and pushed out.

_____________________________________________________________

Chase wasn't sure if he was actually supposed to give the list to House or just leave it on his desk when he wasn't around. But what if someone saw it? What if someone thought it was a joke from House and threw it away?

It had taken him too much time and work to let it go to waste.

He hadn't slept all night, not one second, for quite a few reasons. The first one being the fact that it had taken him until about 4 am to press print and accept his list for House as finished.

Chase had sat down in front of his laptop feeling angry, furious at his boss. How dare he toy with him? How dare he scare him like that? How could he do that to Chase?

Then he had made himself stop sulking and had immediately started to cry. The tears he had barely managed to hold in back at the hospital had escaped and it had taken him until midnight to calm himself enough to think clearly. How did he deserve House, Gregory _House_ doing something to help him? How could he be angry at a man that never ever cared, but took the time and effort to make Chase understand what was wrong with him?

Being calm enough to do it, he had opened a new window and written "List" as a title. Then he'd erased it and written "1st draft for House's list" and then he'd settled for calling it "Lupus" and had saved the document under the title.

Chase had had no clue what to write. There were a few things he really knew he didn't like and a few things he could think of or had seen at one point and was terrified of happening. He wasn't sure what House wanted. He had told him to write everything that scared him or made him uncomfortable. Did he only mean things Chase had already tried? Did he want everything? And could he really bring himself to write all that down for House to read? Did he want his boss to know that he knew about some of that stuff, had even seen some of it happening?

Around 1 am a thought had struck him and, even though he had been alone in his apartment and nobody had been able to see him, he'd blushed. Why had it taken him nearly eight hours after House's order to write the list to notice that this was his way out? He didn't really _have_ to write the list, because House had promised he would call the deal off without exposing his secret. It would have all been over if he'd just gone to bed now and didn't give House anything the next day.

For some reason he was sure that the other doctor hadn't been lying to him, he knew that House would keep his word.

That also meant there had to be another reason why he still wanted to obey House's order and continue whatever thing there was between them, it couldn't be because he was afraid to be compromised.

Chase didn't want to think about it really. But he'd thought about House's rant, about his explanation for ordering his lunch and he'd hugged a couch cushion to his chest, because he'd felt dizzy and had felt the need to hold onto something while his thoughts had run wild again.

It was obvious that he meant something to the other man and that was special. It didn't matter if he was just a riddle, something interesting, a question mark in House's mind.

He was there, he meant _something_ to House.

Maybe the list would work if he put it all into different groups, he had decided. Chase would certainly feel better if he could let House know that he had never tried watersports, but had seen it. That he had never even seen people use fire, but had heard about it and had been unsure about using candles since then, even though he had originally really liked playing with wax.

Thinking about that he'd created a new group he'd called "Infections", knowing House would be able to decipher what he meant. Treating auto-immune diseases meant killing the immune system to stop it from attacking the body. Treating infections meant boosting the immune system so it could fight the disease faster. Chase had smiled as he'd noticed how much easier it was to express yourself using a metaphor if you were uncomfortable with the topic, he would have felt queasy about using "likes" and "dislikes".

He'd written "Having no control, being surprised with what others can do when having control over me". Then he'd hurried to type "Not being able to see and talk or see and hear at the same time while being restrained" as one of the things he had tried, but was afraid to ever have to experience again. That was losing _too_ much control, that was losing all control without being able to take it back.

That was exactly what his mind had been doing to him by making him afraid to use his safeword or contradict House.

He'd pressed himself further into the corner of the couch, placing the laptop onto the armrest and had typed "Being afraid of my partner" beneath the thing about having his senses taken away. Then he'd smiled and had started listing everything else that had come to his mind.

The next morning he was tired, but nervous and high on caffeine and couldn't stop fidgeting while he waited for House to come in after his colleagues had gone down to the ER on a case search. When the older man appeared, Chase lowered his gaze and blushed before he had even seen House's face. Moments later his boss was standing right behind him and a hand made it's way around Chase's body, grasping the list, still titled "Lupus", without a comment and then House was sitting right across the desk from him and read.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Thank you all for your reviews!

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update in the near future, since I'll be moving to another country in a few days and I'll have to get everything working in my apartment on my own, not sure how much I'll screw up with that… I promise I'll try my best!

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They didn't talk about the list, but Chase watched House put it into his backpack so he knew it meant something more than just for him to face some of his demons by writing everything down.

Foreman brought them a case, unfortunately – or maybe fortunately for the patient – it didn't provide them with a lot of entertainment, since it only took them one differential and one test to have a final diagnosis and the treatment started working instantly. Cameron and Foreman seemed confused by the fact that House hadn't made the case into a competition for them, since he'd known the answer immediately but they hadn't. Chase was pretty sure he knew the reason for that and his cheeks flushed at the thought that _he_ was providing House with enough entertainment for now.

At least this way they could all pretend they had had a hard time dealing with their one patient and needed to go home and rest earlier, so Foreman and Cameron left shortly after lunch. The remaining fellow offered to make sure the treatment took and stayed until 3 pm before he, too, went up to the conference room to get his stuff.

A cane tapping against one of the glass walls stopped him from leaving and he tried to suppress the anxious feeling that sound created.

"You need something?"

"Yes. Sit down."

House seemed contemplative and obviously watched Chase's every move, which made the younger man fidget nervously after he sat down in his now usual chair.

"We're exchanging answers again. You ask, I answer truthfully, I ask, you answer truthfully. This time everything in the last and the coming 24 hours is allowed. Think of something."

Now this was interesting. Up until then House had ordered him to answer, like he had when they'd been talking about Chase's first time with a guy. It looked like his boss had really meant it when he'd told him the blackmailing part was over. He didn't use his leverage anymore, he created new things, but not to force him because he was scared, but interested.

"Okay."

"Hurry. I still have to go annoy Wilson and make him splutter about the fact that you haven't run screaming."

"Oh... Okay... Then... Why are you doing this? You've stopped making me feel like I have no choice, you're not committing crimes anymore since you've stopped blackmailing me. Why are you still doing this even though you can't torture me anymore?"

"That's too easy, Robbie." House grinned and Chase couldn't keep himself from smiling slightly at his boss regaining his playfulness from the beginning, now that it was actually playing, not being forced, for him, too. "You're interesting. I might be helping you along the way, but it's surprisingly still not boring because of that. Probably because I haven't ever dealt with something like this and I'd say only very few people have and I know none of them. It's like a new X-Box game and I have to figure out how it works along the way."

His smile grew, but he blushed once again. He really did that too often if House was involved. Honesty as blunt as his boss's was hard to deal with.

"My turn now. Tell me whether you want this to be strictly sexual or if you want to learn how you can be comfortable with who you are."

"I'm pretty comfortable with being the Robert Chase I am. You think I'm not happy with how I live my life?"

"Yes and I don't just think – I know. Now answer the question. Do you want this to only be sexual?"

Chase had expected everything but this. House offering to help him manage his life because he thought Chase was unhappy? Even if the older man only did it because he wanted to find out if he could – this was something he had never expected, this would definitively result in House doing something nice without gaining all that much himself.

It meant that either House was really, really bored or he actually _wanted_ Chase to be happier than he had been.

Well, it was probably a mix of both, the former taking up the biggest part, but every ounce of care was one hell of a surprise.

"If you think you know a way to make me... happier... I'd be willing to try that. No, I don't necessary want this to be strictly sexual."

"Good. Be at my place at 8 pm, bring food. Don't talk. I'll be studying you some more, you'll get all other rules tonight. Now go home. And don't you dare forget to bring food."

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It was around 7 pm that Chase was struck with a sudden thought just like he had been the night before.

From that moment on until the one he knocked on House's door, he was trying to find any kind of evidence in his mind so he could answer the question that wouldn't leave him alone no matter how much he tried to distract himself.

Was House sexually attracted to him?

He couldn't really explain it, but he was terrified of the possibility that House didn't really find him attractive, but made himself touch him, let himself be touched by him, all the same, because Chase was his current experiment. The thought made his skin crawl and he wanted to ask House as soon as he opened the door, but he knew he couldn't. He knew that his boss obviously was into men, Wilson had spoken about an ex-boyfriend, that was very telling. But what about him – Chase? Maybe House wasn't into his body, his behaviour…

He could only hope House was planning to ask him another question he wouldn't demand but trade the answer for.

Chase hoped they wouldn't do anything sexual until then.

Maybe he could use the safeword for this. He wouldn't actually be hurt, but it would make him pretty badly uncomfortable to touch his boss without knowing he actually enjoyed letting him do it.

It only took a few seconds for House to answer the door and he was pretty sure he'd heard the piano, so he stopped himself from thinking even for a second that House had been waiting for him. He only hadn't been all that far away from the door. Just like they had talked about – or more just like House had ordered – Chase didn't say a word as soon as the door had opened. He shyly looked up at the older man and swallowed.

For some reason being here seemed much more intimate this time.

"Come in, put the food on the counter in the kitchen and come back, sit on the couch."

He nodded and obeyed without hesitation. A few moments later he sat on the couch, looking at House, who was sitting on the piano stool and was slowly playing an unknown melody, curious how the evening would evolve. Also, the question about attraction reappeared in his mind, only now the direction had changed.

Was he sexually attracted to House?

Well, if he thought about it, he couldn't deny that he considered the man handsome. He liked the slightly scruffy look the stubble around his mouth and chin gave him, it made him look alive and human and very masculine. Chase would have never said that out loud, but he thought the unshaven look made House seem more honest, like he didn't have to hide who he really was by shaving every few hours. If he didn't consider his grumpy demeanor, House also looked a lot like a guy who would make you feel really safe and protected if he hugged you.

Chase liked that.

He also liked that House still looked like he did a lot of working out, even though he knew House hadn't even finished physical therapy. Using the cane had obviously strengthened his torso. He looked pretty buff for a self proclaimed cripple, but not overly.

Chase liked that, too.

Okay, he was very obviously sexually attracted to House. He could imagine that he'd agree in an instant if a guy looking like House would ever try to pick him up. That hadn't ever happened, because he wasn't out partying where people were being picked up all that often, but he could imagine that it would be a guy like House he'd go home with. The mix between knowing they were physically superior and feeling like they were trustworthy most likely did it for him.

Yeah, Chase was pretty much into guys like House.

"Rule number one for tonight", House interrupted his thoughts, still playing quietly, "is that you don't talk without permission. Permission can be granted directly or by asking you a question. Clear?"

"Yes, House."

"Good. Rule number two for tonight is that you don't do _anything at all_ without permission. You can move as you sit, but you don't stand up. If you stand, you stand, you don't move somewhere else. If you need something, you keep steady eye contact until I tell you to speak. You understand?"

"Yeah, House."

"Rule number three, not only for tonight, but for good, is that every kind of deal we have is off if you do something you don't want to ever again. You use your safeword as soon as you feel uncomfortable or you don't understand something I do or you need to do or say anything important that can't wait even one minute. This rule is very important. You really understand this?"

"I do. And I'm sorry, House."

Finally! Chase had thought about how and when he'd be able to apologize for not using their safeword and finally the right moment had come. And that was something like a smile on House's face, wasn't it?

The older man grunted in response. "It's okay" in House language.

"Now go prepare the food and bring utensils so we can eat."

Chase complied with a smile and got up to mix the actual dish with the rice from the other boxes. He'd brought Chinese, unsure what kind of food House liked, but sure he liked Asian. He found forks and put them in his jeans pocket, because last time he'd been there House hadn't given him chopsticks and he didn't want to risk making him mad because he'd assumed his boss knew how to operate them.

When he was ready he carried the four boxes into the living room and sat them onto the coffee table along with the forks. Fortunately he remembered a second before he sat down that House hadn't told him to bring the food and sit down. He'd only told him to bring the food, so Chase remained standing next to the table. He felt excited for obeying an order like that and ashamed because it excited him at the same time. Even a dog could carry out orders and some part of his mind told him it was pathetic that he liked to feel the boundaries around his actions.

"Good. Sit down, you can eat whatever." Both men sat on the couch and reached forward, Chase got himself some fried duck, House clasped the TV remote in his hand.

"You'll decide what we watch. Either The L-Word or Torchwood. Everything else on my TiVo is reserved for being watched with Wilson. Which will it be?"

"I'd rather watch Torchwood."

He thought about adding "If that's okay with you", but decided against it, because House would have never given him the choice if he didn't want him to take one of the options, so he had to be okay with either. He felt anxious not to make any mistakes and ruin the evening. Chase really wanted this to work out.

And he felt pretty good when House gave him a gentle nod after scrutinizing him for a few seconds after his choice. Obviously he had given him some kind of answer and it was good enough for House.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

I'm back! God, I've missed being able to go online whenever I want… But I'm back now and I can tell you that I've almost finished the story, only about half a chapter to write and then it's done! You'll have five more chapters to read after this one =)

Hope you are all very much motivated to review after the wait ;)

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"I have another question for you. It's a general question, so I'm giving you the option of either saying no and I won't demand an answer or saying yes and being able to ask me something, but it can only be about the last and coming 24 hours like we'd agreed. You have to decide. Do it now. I'll be asking you later, but what we'll do next depends on how you decide."

It took Chase a few moments, because being offered so many choices was confusing, but then he got what House was trying to achieve. He was taking the control in small steps instead of just taking all of it at once. He was giving him time to trust House with the control for tonight. He was probably planning something big, wasn't he? Something he needed to know Chase was okay with giving up the control for.

His stomach fluttered violently.

"I'm okay with that and I have a question."

It hadn't been much of a choice, he was too damn desperate to ask his question, he was willing to answer anything big in exchange.

"Ask."

"Are you sexually attracted to me? Yesterday and that time in the clinic, were you affected by what we were doing or was that just a part of the experiment?"

Chase really hated that he hadn't been paying attention to whether House had been aroused that night at the clinic. He'd been too wrapped up in the pleasure and surprise of the situation to notice anything around him, he wasn't sure if House really hadn't been hard or had if he had cared to not press his groin against Chase's backside. But now he was going to get his answer.

"I think you're hot and I think it's sexy when you willingly kneel in front of me or respond to an innocent touch like I'm jacking you off. That's what you need to hear, isn't it?"

"Yes, that would be… nice."

"Good, because it's true. That enough for you to answer me later?"

"Yeah, thank you, House."

Yes, that was more than enough. House admitting that he thought Chase was hot, sexy? That was just unbelievable! This part of the deal was turning out to be great for him, he was learning things he would have never found out otherwise and he could work on eliminating fears that made trusting House with all control harder – like not knowing if House actually wanted that, which he obviously did.

"We're done trading for now. Time to make this interesting. Starting with you telling me what you thought when I told you to kneel yesterday."

"I thought you wanted me to give you a blowjob."

"Stop stating the obvious, you know I don't want to know what went through _that_ head."

"I guess I… thought… that it was… nice that you wanted me to give you a blowjob." He swallowed and took a deep breath – that was so much of an understatement it was almost a lie. "I wanted to give you a blowjob. At least… first I wanted to."

That was better. Direct and very honest and pretty scary to admit out loud.

"Good boy, Robbie. I saw that you were getting hard", which meant he'd just wanted Chase to admit to it, "but I had more important things to do than let you suck me off. But now… Kneel."

This time it was for real! It had to be! Sure, Chase was still waiting for the older man to try anything from the "Lupus-list", just to be certain Chase would stop him, but he actually hoped it wouldn't happen right then.

He really wanted to blow his boss. That was creepy.

Still he hurried to get onto his knees before him and looked up anxiously. God, he was pathetically eager and this wasn't even about him getting off.

"You keep a condom in your wallet?" Chase nodded. "Get it out, I don't want to get up."

He complied, checking the date, before he handed it to the other man. It was good that House seemed to be as paranoid about STDs as he was, even though he doubted there was a real need to.

But Chase noticed that he was trying to distract himself from the matter at hand. He needed to concentrate if he wanted to do this right. And he wanted to do it right very, very badly.

"Open my jeans and get them down."

He did as he was told, trying not to look at the scar. There was no emotional connection between them, yet, it was about sex and sex didn't mean letting the other one in on anything personal. He didn't want to destroy the mood.

"Ask me if you can proceed."

Chase looked up, swallowing hard.

"Can I… undress you?"

Again he swallowed, secretly hating that his body was trained to make his mouth water in a situation like that. He had blown guys too often, since he'd liked it after the first few times and preferred it to real sex with men he didn't know too well.

God, but he was so nervous and his thoughts were all over the place. It was so _different _with House.

"Do it."

His hands were trembling and he really hoped that House got that it wasn't because he was scared, but because he was pretty excited to do this. And to Chase's relief, House was just as excited.

He was already half hard and it felt like someone screeched "He's hard because you talked about you giving him a blowjob!" in Chase's head. This was almost more proof than House actually telling him he thought Chase was sexy.

"Tell me." House's voice was quiet and husky again and Chase felt a twitch in his nether regions.

"I want to suck you off. May I?"

"Do it, Robert."

Finally. Chase took a deep breath and adjusted his position so he could lean forward more comfortably, supporting himself on his forearms. This was it. He hesitated only for a second before he took House's cock into his hand, carefully stroking to get it hard enough for the condom. The first warm touch sent a jolt through his whole body.

Hell, he had missed this kind of intimacy and his erection grew very uncomfortably fast in his too tight jeans, just from touching another man's cock.

Fortunately, House's did, too, at the touch and after a series of still pretty restrained strokes he felt the condom being pressed into his free hand. He ripped it open and thought about putting it on with his mouth – yes, he knew how to do that – but decided against it, since the whole purpose of the condom was eliminating contact without it and it wasn't a good idea to toy with House. So he used his hands, but leaned forward again and closed his lips around the head to at least roll the condom down with his mouth. It had taken him quite s few guys to learn how to do that perfectly. He really wanted to impress the other man with something and deep throating without having to try a few times to get everything down was impressive for most people.

Obviously House wasn't an exception from "most people" for a change, because the man moaned as Chase's lips touched the base of his cock and Chase hoped for a hand on his head, but it looked like he had to earn that. He pulled back and started the slow strokes again, this time using his tongue to circle the head simultaneously, wrapping his lips around it from time to time, sucking carefully, but enough to have House panting afterwards.

It wasn't long until he had to shift slightly, because he was _so_ hard and he knew if House allowed it, he would be begging to touch himself in seconds.

Or maybe have House touch him…

Chase moaned unconsciously around the other man's cock at that thought, feeling the flesh twitch beneath his lips. Maybe House was planning on returning the favor or just jerking him off or repeating what had happened at the clinic. It didn't really matter, he just wanted to get off somehow, preferably not on his own.

The older man's body shuddered under his movements and Chase, once more, took him completely, relaxing his throat and breathing deeply through his nose. He had to close his eyes as he inhaled the mix of soap, sweat and the deodorant that was so _House_, suddenly overwhelmed by thoughts like how the other man had to have showered just for this, for him or how incredibly close they really were right then…

He knew it wouldn't have taken him more than two strokes if he'd been allowed to touch himself.

It didn't take House all that much more, because as soon as Chase pulled off, just to lower his head again, his hips bucked and finally a hand landed on Chase's head, keeping him close while House came within the confines of the condom, right in his throat. Chase lifted his head after a few moments and thought about resting it on the older man's good thigh, but decided against it. They were still on deal-time and he wasn't allowed to – and even if they weren't, that was almost cuddling and House couldn't possibly like that.

"Bathroom door is open, you'll find it. Go in there and bring yourself off, think about this, count the strokes. Bring the Vicodin bottle from the sink with you when you're done."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Less sex, more talking this time.

I wasn't sure this chapter was very IC for House, but then a dear friend said it's not worse than any other chapter of this story, so I guess it'll be okay. In case some of you disagree – please review and tell me why! =)

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Twenty minutes later they were both slumped in different corners of the couch, still exhausted, but equally satisfied. It was comfortably dark, since House had told his fellow to turn off the light and turn on the small lamp next to the piano after the young man had returned from the bathroom.

"So, how many?"

"Seven I think. Kind of lost control when… Sorry."

House snorted. "Forget it. That question we talked about. You calmed down enough to answer?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good. How long did you practice BDSM as a submissive part until you became afraid of what you liked? You obviously tried quite a few things, so you can't have gotten second thoughts after you enjoyed it once, you went back to that for some time until something made you stop. I want you to tell me about the time back then."

Chase sighed, closed his eyes and wished for a second that it wasn't part of a different deal, just an order he could refuse to carry out by using his safeword. He had agreed. Hearing that House enjoyed their time really was worth sharing this and he actually wanted to keep his part, he knew he'd feel bad if he didn't. But it was hard to talk about and he was tired and silently hoping House would offer to let him stay on the couch for the night. Maybe he would if Chase didn't make a fuss about answering.

"It wasn't just one time that… scared me. Several things happened that made me quit going to the parties, going out with friends from the scene."

Chase noticed that he'd started at the end of his story, so he took a deep breath and started anew from the beginning.

"A few weeks after my ex-girlfriend had told me about her tendencies, she noticed that even though… even though I liked it when we used… candles and stuff, I wasn't really comfortable. She tried taking control, she was more dominant then and plainly told me what to do once and we both… we both were kind of surprised when we found out that that worked… very well together with the… pain stuff. We tried restraints then and it was good, it was very good. But a lot was going on then and I moved here and the only thing I took with me from her was a number of one of her friends that lives here in the US. I went to those parties I mentioned which was okay, because we'd been to a few back in Australia so I knew what I'd be seeing."

Now came the juicy part. God, this was uncomfortable.

"It wasn't like it had been in Australia, it wasn't just people trying something different, it was… more and everyone was so much more experienced, all of them had been doing stuff for ages. At first it was okay, I made a few friends, tried some things, finally made myself try sex with a guy, found out some things I liked or didn't quite like. But then it started about three months after I came here that I joined some friends in watching scenes at a club we often went to. I was still doing stuff with others then, but I started to… question what was going on and… the people I watched… I… I noticed that what they were doing was going to be happening to me and that scared me. They were comfortable with themselves, but they… They did so incredibly painful things and I couldn't believe anyone would be able to enjoy that, but they all said that the longer you did it, the higher your threshold got and I'd understand soon."

Chase's hands were shaking. Some part of him was wishing that House might take his hand or lay a hand on his shoulder or thigh or initiate just _any_ kind of contact, but he knew it wouldn't be happening and he didn't really want to think about that, so he made himself tell the rest of the story instead.

"There was a guy… a boy even. He was about twenty and he was so… damaged. I talked to him once and he said that he didn't believe in anything but pain and dominance anymore. He said that anyone who didn't care enough to hurt or… possess him didn't really care at all. After that night I never went back. I knew that he was in trouble and deeply emotionally disturbed and I wasn't, but something told me that if I didn't quit as soon as I could, I'd end up like that. A guy with childhood abandonment issues that made him seek attention in just any way he could get it. I couldn't become that. That was something I couldn't tolerate as someone with the knowledge and strength to stop it. So I never went back and I… I closed that chapter of my life and told myself to stop thinking and acting and feeling that way that would make me end up destroyed."

Both of them stayed silent for a few moments and Chase snuggled into the cushions. He was so tired…

"So you thought that if you stayed in the scene and didn't change the way you were having sex, you would need to be hurt badly to enjoy sex?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Did you really focus on the pain part with your partners?"

"Well… Sometimes it was mostly about that, it depended on who I was with."

"What did you focus on if not pain?"

"Control, the other person… dominating me."

"Think about it and be honest now: Which did you enjoy more?"

Chase sighed and pulled one leg up onto the couch, hugging it with his arms in order to curl around it slightly. He wasn't sure what to answer. However, when he thought about a time that had been about pain, he thought about his ex-girlfriend in Australia and then pain hadn't done all that much for him, hadn't put him off, but hadn't turned him on. When he thought about a time that had been about being dominated, controlled, he thought about one time here in the US, when he and his first guy had spent a whole weekend together, when Chase had been cuffed to actual hooks in the wall and had been fucked until he'd cried from pleasure.

He had really liked that weekend and how his friend had taken over everything, but had made him feel amazing in the process. Yeah, he had liked that a whole lot better.

"The being dominated thing. I liked that more. But when it was about that and then there was some stuff that was about pain, I liked that, too." Chase turned his head slightly, looking at House after he had now avoided eye contact since he'd started his answer. The older man seemed deep in thoughts, but in no way like he judged him for what he'd told him. "I think that was why I was so scared when I met that boy. He needed both those things, too, even though it was more about the pain for him."

House looked up at those words and they watched each other until Chase lowered his gaze and hugged his leg tighter. House had his epiphany face on, he'd obviously figured him out.

"Okay. It's time to end this, the rules are off for now, you need some talking. Can you tell me what the real difference between you and that boy was?"

"Well… He was younger, but more experienced and…"

"And it was about the pain for him. Don't freak now, but I'm going to actually agree with you now. You are not a masochist."

What? Chase jerked his head up, watching his boss in disbelief. How could House, House of all people, tell him he wasn't a masochist? He'd been the one most eager to call him that!

"I learned a lot today. Even though most of that book is just psycho babble, some things made more sense in my head after thinking that babble through. You really are not a masochist and I should probably stop calling you that."

"I… I liked pain sometimes and even if I don't want to be like that, it's kind of the definition for the title."

"It doesn't have to be. What you are most importantly is very eager to be submissive. How does this sound: You liked pain in situations where the other person giving you pain was an expression of how that person was dominating you."

"That… I don't know…" He had so avert his eyes. It scared him to be told what was going on in his head.

"You may have some masochistic tendencies, but I can tell you that you would have never ended up like that boy that scared you like that. I can also tell you that you would have noticed that if you had used your head to actually think and not just blow as many guys as you could."

Cue for Chase to look up again. It surprised him that House insulting him was able to surprise him and then he was surprised that the other man had obviously not insulted him for the whole evening until then.

"I have no clue how you managed that, but you spent months in that scene without actually thinking about what was happening around you and how you fit in. How about this: You let yourself be picked up by people who wanted someone they could dominate as well as those who searched for someone they could hurt. You weren't asked by people who didn't want someone submissive, because the way you act screams the fact that you are even when your mouth is closed for once. Did you ever stop to think that maybe there was a difference between the people who picked you up?"

He was silent. House was on a roll and he was scared and he felt so insecure about everything that went on inside his head. He had never thought it felt so scary when his boss did his "I know you better than you know yourself, because I can strip you down to the most basic of your motives and explain all your excuses away"-thing he usually used to get patients to agree with him after they refused to in the first place.

"You idiot didn't even notice that you really just wanted someone to tell you what to do, to make you do things, to do things to you. It wasn't pain that brought you off, it was the fact that someone else decided to inflict the pain on you! You could have just started thinking back then, stopped letting everything happen, taken a moment to figure yourself out and then you could have gone back to having and enjoying sex instead of beating yourself up over the fact that maybe you were going to end up a mess, because of things that weren't even important for you."

House took a deep breath, waiting for Chase to react to all those challenges. It was obvious to the younger man that listening and agreeing wouldn't be enough for his boss.

"But I… I wasn't all _that_ different from that boy! When he said that, the stuff about being hurt and… and possessed by someone, I liked how that sounded. It wasn't just about pain for him, he talked about being owned like some kind of pet and it was weird and creepy and I still liked the general idea of that!" He sighed, unable to look at anything but his hands. "That's just… wrong."

"So you have a fetish, so what? It's not like nobody else has some strange thing about their preferences. I get off on power, Wilson gets off on not having to think about all the bad things that could happen. Other people get off on feet."

"That's different!"

"Oh please."

"People don't think you brush your teeth with your feet, just because you have a fetish for feet. People think I can't do anything on my own, they think I can't be trusted on my own and they assume I always need someone to tell me everything. I'm not stupid and I'm okay on my own!"

"Ah, so now we come closer to the truth. Let me guess…"

"No, don't guess, House!" Had he actually just interrupted House? "Yes, someone found out and treated me badly. I'm not proud that I'm like that, I can't be the bigger person and just smile and accept that people are idiots and don't know anything. And please don't start analyzing this with childhood traumas and don't tell me I'm afraid others might think I'm incapable, because I wasn't capable to save my mom. I'm not stupid, I already know that screwed me up, but I'm not who I am just because of that!"

Chase felt his boss scrutinize him all over again and he sighed, closed his eyes. He was so tired and he didn't want to think anymore. He really had expected everything but to be stripped bare like this when House had told him to come over. Couldn't he just have actually stripped him instead of this?

"I take it that's why you were willing to commit to this so I don't tell anyone. You didn't want them to think you can't handle control at work."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Okay. I think we're done talking psycho shit for today. But I want you to be aware that I won't let you live on those excuses for long. I don't need a neurotic, emotionally disturbed fellow and I won't work with someone who throws a fit every time someone calls them stupid or says they're incapable of something. You may want to keep all of this private, but if you look around you for a second you'll see that this is affecting your life, your work as long as you don't deal with it."

"It's not affecting my work and you call me stupid a dozen times a day and I never…"

"Oh, I have an idea: It might be trauma, but I won't tell you why I think that because you might be mean to me if I tell you!"

That shut him up pretty quickly. Chase knew that arguing that the chances they'd get a case like that again were slim to non-existent wouldn't do him any good. House was generally right and he couldn't argue with that fact.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I've got some ideas. I took your case, patients don't take part in finding the right treatment, you should be happy you were allowed to be part of the differential!"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Okay, so I'm having problems writing the ending to this fic, because I don't know if my House is very much not House-like or if he's okay…

So either assure me that it's not likely I'm writing crap or pm me / comment to offer to read the rest of the story and tell me if it's okay =) Thank you.

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When he thought about it later, it always surprised him that they had managed to go from that kind of a conversation to casual chatter while watching TV.

It was even more surprising to wake up on House's couch, a pillow under his head, the blanket that had been placed over the back of the couch now hugged tightly to his chest. It took him a few seconds until he realized that he'd fallen asleep during a commercial break, never to see the rest of the show they'd been watching.

Chase was sure he wasn't supposed to think too much of this. Clearly House had been too lazy to make him get up and endure Chase's apologies for falling asleep.

Still, it was nice to wake up and know that he wasn't alone, to be woken up by sounds another person inside the apartment was making.

While he was smiling about those thoughts, said person entered the room and Chase looked up, blinking sleepily. House was wearing – the younger man had to clutch the blanket just a bit tighter – nothing but sweatpants. Chase didn't even notice that he was _staring_ very obviously, because he really, really liked what he saw. House's upper body looked so incredibly… soft and he had to fight the image of snuggling close to him and laying his head on House's chest.

He'd have really liked that.

Or maybe it was just being half asleep and those thoughts weren't actually real. It was weird that he considered his boss's body almost beautiful in a very handsome, manly way, that he thought the older man looked sweet with his hair sticking out in odd directions. Chase felt the sudden urge to tug the man down next to him and make House hold him for a while – he really wanted to feel as protected as he imagined he'd feel in those arms.

He wanted to close his eyes and pretend – just for a minute – that he actually had that kind of familiarity with someone. That _they_ had that kind of familiarity.

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"I can't believe you let him _sleep on your couch_."

"Oh, you thought it was yours and yours alone?"

"He's your employee. He tells the wrong person, Cuddy finds out, she either fires you or she fires him and gets him sent back home and it will be your fault."

"Chase doesn't have any friends and he'd also rather be fired than tell anyone that he was too exhausted to go home after I finally gave him permission to suck me. Did you know that he actually forgot to mention his bestest quality in his application?"

"So you are doing him now."

"Why, Dr. Wilson, I wouldn't go so far as to say…"

"Stop it."

"Oh, come on…"

"You do know that this is so very out of character for you."

"What? Me using an employee for sexual gratification? Well, sure, I wouldn't ever do a thing like that."

"No, you wouldn't. And you aren't."

"Ah, so now you've gone from accusing me of molesting him to accusing me of making sweet, sweet love to him?"

"I'm accusing you of letting him sleep on your couch."

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Chase spent his day doing clinic work and trying to avoid seeing House. He wasn't having regrets and he wasn't ashamed of what they had done the night before. He was only slightly embarrassed of himself because of what he had done in half-sleep.

"Stop staring at me like you're in love or something."

It wasn't like he'd been looking at his boss in any kind of suggestive way. He'd just… looked a little bit too long. Granted – it had to seem pretty bad, him staring at House while the older man had been wearing close to nothing, Chase hugging his blanket in a way that probably told a lot of what he was thinking about…

Yeah, he had been staring at House like he was in love – _or something_ – but only because he'd had those strange thoughts in his half-asleep brain that he would have probably had no matter who had been standing there.

Chase wasn't in love. House was still a bastard in his eyes, he still respected him too much in a professional way to ever allow any kind of romantic feelings. It couldn't come as a surprise to really anyone that he would attach himself to someone who devoted any amount of time or effort to helping him deal with his issues.

House had to know that he would never ever expect him to engage in some kind of relationship. He did know that, didn't he?

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"Get the blinds."

Chase was excited to see what the other man was planning. A blowjob in the middle of the day? In his office? Well, nobody would really see if the blinds were closed and it wasn't like anybody dared to just come in without at least knocking if they were. Yeah, a blowjob in House's office in the middle of the day would be okay.

Returning to the desk after completing his task, Chase stayed on his feet. He did understand that the second rule wasn't permanent, but he had liked it and they could keep it up at work better than the no-talking rule.

"Good."

Once more, House was studying him and obviously trying to figure something out. Maybe this wasn't just about a blowjob in the office in the middle of the day?

"I want you to kiss me."

"You… what?"

"Kiss me. Now."

Silence.

"You do realize that that was an order, do you?"

God, House couldn't actually make him do _that_, could he? It couldn't be another safeword ploy, because Chase liked kissing his partners, but House wasn't his partner or lover or whatever title he could think of. House was still his boss and even though he knew that they had crossed the employer-employee borders a long, long time ago, kissing just didn't seem appropriate.

But he couldn't really refuse to do it, just because he thought that it wasn't appropriate work behavior. House would probably let him refuse to do just about anything, but not for a reason like that!

The older man had to have some hidden agenda. He wouldn't actually want to kiss Chase, so there had to be a plan behind making him do it. Which meant that he should probably do it and get on with it already!

He felt so incredibly _awkward_ as he stepped around the desk, so he didn't have to lean across it. How was he supposed to do it? When he kissed women, he was gentle and careful. When he kissed men he either made himself be rough or was passive, responding to his partner. How was he supposed to kiss his boss? He was a man, that was for certain – especially after the night before – but he couldn't be rough, it just wouldn't fit. He also couldn't be responsive seeing as he was the one to initiate it.

Kissing your boss really was something different altogether.

He very _awkwardly_ placed one hand on the desk to support himself and leaned down, hesitating as the question of whether or not to close his eyes appeared in his head. But closed eyes seemed too intimate, too much like this was a romantic thing. It really wasn't.

Chase leaned closer, took one last deep breath – tried not to notice the now familiar smell – and pressed his lips against House's.

Unfortunately he noticed that he had no clue what kind of kiss the other man was expecting from him. He could retreat right then, because pressing his lips against another person's was mostly the definition of kissing someone. Only that was more of a brotherly kiss and if there was one thing that was definitely not between them, it was a brotherly bond.

So he opened his lips, just a tiny bit. Carefully he moved back a few millimeters, just to lean back in, capturing most of House's upper lip between his own. This time he felt even more of the stubble around the other man's lips and he did close his eyes, only for one second, because he generally loved to be kissed by guys with a beard. There was something amazingly erotic about the roughness, he couldn't even describe it.

But was he actually supposed to french kiss his boss? The thought of sticking his tongue in House's mouth really didn't feel right and House himself was in no way reciprocating the kiss and oh God, he was kissing him like some 14 year old high school girl! Panic was rising in his chest and Chase stepped back as fast as humanly possible.

Okay, that had to be the worst kiss in history.

And House? House was staring at him, no emotion on his face, no sign that being kissed by Chase had any kind of effect on him, while the younger doctor blushed furiously and avoided eye contact as much as he could.

He couldn't believe that he had actually kissed House. Just thinking the words felt strange. You didn't kiss House, you hated House or you were annoyed by House, you even rolled your eyes at House or glared at House. But you didn't kiss House.

Chase really had no clue at all why the older man had ordered him to do it. He couldn't have enjoyed it judging by his completely unaffected look. It had been humiliating for Chase, but not in the way House generally tried to achieve. He couldn't make any sense of the situation and god, he was embarrassed to the point where he thought about leaning back down and kissing House like he kissed girls, just to prove that he wasn't normally that bad, that _awkward_ at it.

No, he didn't want to do that again, not even to prove his capability to House. One time had really been a lot more than enough.

Hell, he would never ever be able to look at House sitting in his office chair like that without thinking about himself leaning down to kiss him. This was just so bad and all that blood rushing to his cheeks was making him feel nauseous.

Finally, House broke the _awkward_ silence.

"You see how weird this was?"

He nodded, eyeing the worn carpet and his shoes that desperately needed cleaning. He nodded some more.

"So stop looking at me like I'm your long lost love. I'm not."

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"No, it can't be. This has to be neurological!"

Chase scoffed. "Says the neurologist."

"Come on! The symptoms are clear, it's a waste of time to talk about this any longer."

"What about paraneoplastic syndrome? No actual neurological cause, but a bunch of neurological symptoms that indicate…"

"Yeah, the Hide-the-tumor-game. Could be."

Finally they had a case again! Chase was both ecstatic and horrified. He had been starting to feel bored these last days, but he wanted to be anywhere but in House's office right then. Their department head was refusing to get up and walk to the conference room, forcing Foreman to carry the whiteboard into the office.

Now the black doctor was pacing up and down in front of the board, while Cameron was studying the file intently and Chase was arguing, silently happy about the fact that House wasn't dismissing his suggestions for a change.

"Let's give you both a chance to prove yourselves wrong. Check the protein markers and MRI her head. Give the kid's file to Wilson in case you find something cancer-y, Chase."

Foreman huffed and stormed out, leaving Cameron behind to shake her head and tell Chase that she'd go after him and make sure he wouldn't break something. And like that they were alone in the office once again.

Oh no…

"When I told you to stop looking at me like you're in love with me, I didn't mean start looking at me like I'm a big animal that wants to eat you."

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"It's not because I'm a neurologist! It's just stupid to still consider anything not-neurological now. There's no cancer and we eliminated everything else that could hide behind neurological symptoms. We're wasting the kid's time still talking about this!"

"Well, then maybe, Dr. Foreman, you should tell us what exactly you think our little girl has, if you are this sure."

"It's a boy, his name is Aaron", Chase murmured, not bothering to look up. He was so very comfortable in the lazy chair in the corner of the office and had snuggled into his lab coat like he normally did with his oversized university hoodies. He was tired and his colleagues were annoying him to no end.

If Foreman didn't know what was wrong and wasn't likely to figure it out this very second, why couldn't he let Cameron and Wilson suggest auto-immune-y or cancer-y things so that House could maybe piece it all together and give them a chance to go home some time this day?

Chase yawned, letting his head fall back to rest against the cushion. Just for a second. God, he really needed sleep, just a little nap…

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"What are you doing?"

"He'll already have a stiff neck when he wakes up, he doesn't need to be cold, too."

"It's my coat."

"Well, mine's in my office. I care enough about his well-being to give him yours, I don't care enough to run next door. Also, you started the being protective thingy with making Cameron and Foreman do all tests on their own so they wouldn't wake him."

"He'll end up thinking I gave him my coat."

"Which would be a terrible, terrible thing… I feel like a pedophile saying this, but he really looks cute like that. I don't get how you can torture someone who looks like a helpless five year old."

Silence.

"God, it's a shame. He really is disturbingly pretty like this."

And then, he was alone in the office with the sleeping boy.

"Yes, he is."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

**READ THIS: **There is explicit sexual contact in this chapter! If you don't feel comfortable reading that, just skip the first part and read on from the line separating the first and the second part of the chapter – you won't miss anything that would stop you from understanding the rest of the story!

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Once again he was staring at House, half asleep.

"Now I'm really curious." The man was smirking at Chase. "There has to be a very interesting explanation for this, my Robbie."

Chase narrowed his eyebrows, just then noticing that there was a coat blanketing him and that he had snuggled his face into the fabric until moments ago when he'd lifted his head. He didn't even have to look closely at it, he knew the smell.

The young doctor only understood what House was curious about, when he gestured into the direction of his crotch using his head. "You know, I didn't think about _this_ when Wilson talked about you waking up with stiff body parts from sleeping on the chair."

Oh God, he was hard and at that thought the dream he'd been having came back to him and he pulled his arms down in a frantic movement. While sleeping he'd obviously mimicked his movements from the dream and lifted them above his head, crossing his wrists, stretching his torso.

"It's the middle of the night. The others have gone home to sleep. But you've been providing quite some entertainment until I got too damn curious to only watch. That dream must have been pretty graphic and I didn't know there were that many different ways to moan my name!"

Carefully Chase sat upright, noticing the nagging discomfort of his erection being confined even more inside his trousers.

"It was just a dream", he whispered, looking up at his boss, who was standing at the end of the long chair, his arms crossed on his chest, a challenging glint in his eyes.

"And a very interesting dream at that!" House's smirk grew. "Get up and kneel. Oh and lose the shirt."

He complied, removing his lab coat, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt. As he made to kneel in front of his boss after pulling everything off, House raised his eyebrows, obviously not satisfied with something he'd done. It took Chase a few moments and a painful twitch inside his pants until he put his tie and lab coat on again. House had only been speaking about removing his shirt and that had been Chase's mistake, but this felt strange, the rough fabric of the coat on his bare back, the tickling edges of his tie on his neck and chest…

"Good. Now tell me what you were dreaming about."

"You."

"Obviously. Tell me details."

"We were here. It was… hazy, I don't really remember all that much."

That was a big, big lie.

"Does "Oh God, yes, it feels good this way, so good…" give you any clues? I must have been doing something you really, really enjoyed!"

"You kissed me, alright? It was like this afternoon, but… the other way around."

"I don't remember seeing you move like you did just now. No talking around it. I want you to describe it, accurately."

Chase sighed, defeated. This was as humiliating as it was insanely hot. He lowered his head, but only seconds later he felt fingers sliding into his hair, gripping his locks tightly and pulling his head back. He stared up at House with his eyes wide open, his cock throbbing in his pants from the force the man was suddenly using.

"Start talking."

"It was pretty dark, like… like now and you were sitting in your chair and then you got up and I… It was like that first time we talked, you pressed me against the wall and you talked about wanting to fuck me across the conference room table. You held my hands up above my head and you were really close and then you kissed me. Hard and rough and then you asked if I liked it now and if I… wanted you to fuck me."

That dream was a perfect masturbating fantasy. He always imagined guys doing similar things if he decided to indulge himself. Having an actual visual image was blowing his mind away – oh why had House woken him up? Seeing the dream-House fuck him would have been pretty amazing after all.

The hand in his hair disappeared and House took a few steps back. He was still scrutinizing him, the smirk gone, replaced by a calculating, slightly distressed look. Chase lowered his gaze again, saw that his boss's chest was rising and sinking very heavily. He looked lower yet and saw that his own wasn't the only erection in the room anymore.

House was just as hard hearing about his dream as he was talking about it.

"Stand up."

Chase watched the other man walk over to his desk, suddenly scared he wouldn't get any kind of relief out of this situation. But then…

"Strip. I want you naked, but keep on the coat and tie."

Oh fucking hell! His hands were trembling and he wanted to come just from hearing House's words and then he was almost naked, the rough coat feeling even weirder on his ass then his back, and House was standing right in front of him and he was holding a condom and a packet of lube in his hand.

Chase could only swallow silently, staring upwards with parted lips and heavy breath.

"You're going to get fucked now."

He moaned. Without being touched, just standing there, listening to the words the other man was muttering in that deep voice.

Suddenly House took his face into both hands, pulled him closer – and kissed him, hard. It was so much like the dream, but so much better! They were in a situation that was even more sexual than his dream had been, but still the kiss seemed to be about a lot more in reality. Chase had a weird feeling that it wasn't just part of having sex, of some kind of foreplay. It wasn't just a tongue fuck.

They were proving their earlier statements wrong that this was weird. It wasn't.

Once again the stubble felt incredible and now as House was controlling the kiss, setting the pace he could respond to the older man's movements. And he really cherished those thin, rough lips, was amazed by how heated and plainly passionately that tongue moved around his own.

God – House was one hell of a kisser!

How good would he be at fucking Chase?

"Lie down on your back, right where you are." He complied, looking up at House who he was offering the perfect view of his naked, excited body to – he couldn't even feel self-conscious anymore, he was so turned on. "Hands above your head, try gripping the leg of the table. As soon as I tell you to lie down again, I want you to hold onto that leg, imagine you're cuffed to it. If you fail to hold onto it, you'll be punished."

Chase obeyed the other doctor's commands without hesitation, shivering at the thought of being punished. He really liked that word perversely much. As soon as he was gripping the metallic pole House leaned down to take the end of his tie in one of his hands, using it as a leash to pull Chase up, who was instantly reminded of how much he'd once liked wearing a collar.

"Blow me."

Both men fumbled with clothes, the younger man working on opening the other one's pants and pulling them down together with his underwear, while the older man pulled off the tie now, making to tie it around Chase's head once again – blindfolding him.

Moments later Chase felt a condom clad cock pressed against his lips and he moaned a second time, opening his mouth and eagerly sucking his boss's cock, not quite believing he was actually preparing him so he could screw him. He also couldn't believe how much he was aching to be fucked and he felt slightly dirty, but very, very hot at the same time.

A small whimper escaped him, when he was pushed back onto the ground again, missing the feeling in his mouth, but excited for the prospect of feeling that very special sensation somewhere else entirely. He gripped the table leg with both hands.

House was leaning over him, still wearing all his clothes, his pants and underwear hanging at his knees. Chase was just thinking about how amazing it was that his boss was able to move like this in spite of his leg, when he felt himself being kissed again and a tight feeling spread through his chest.

He broke the kiss. "Please don't kiss me when I can't see. Oh, Lupus. Please."

A chuckle and then he was kissed again, only this time not on his lips, but right above his collar bone.

"Good boy. What would you like me to do now?"

It had been a test! House hadn't just forgotten that point, he had chosen a very easily reversed way to try it and make Chase prove he would stop if he actually wanted to. He could have cried at the thought that House was giving this so much thought, that he wouldn't have fucked him without being sure it really was consensual.

"Please fuck me. I… can't think about anything else, please fuck me."

There was no contact for a few moments and then House was leaning over him once more, his breath moist and hot on Chase's lips.

"Spread your legs, Robbie."

Slick, cold fingers started to prepare him and he couldn't do anything but moan helplessly at the feeling of being entered and stretched. He loved that slight twinge of pain, it was all so good, good, good, perfectly good and over too soon, but what was to come made up for the moment of feeling empty.

"Now you're going to get fucked."

And so he was. The pain intensified at first as House's cock pushed into him and he gripped the leg of the table tighter, letting it lose as the pain subsided, only to hold onto it frantically seconds later when that very special spot House had avoided until then was touched.

Oh god, he loved being fucked and putting the situation into words, actually thinking "House is inside me" made him gasp and moan. Chase already knew that both of them wouldn't last very long and he was terrified when he man above him spoke again, panted words hitting his skin.

"Don't you dare think about coming until I tell you to." He leaned down until he could take his ear lobe between his teeth and bit down while letting it go. "Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes… Oh god, yes… H-House!"

"That's my boy."

It took all of his willpower not to let go of himself and just come without being allowed to. It just felt so incredibly good, he felt amazing and he wanted, he needed to come! He almost lost himself when House pushed into him one last time and came with a deep grunt, Chase's mind screaming at him that the man had come inside his body for a second time now.

"Do you want to come, Robbie?"

Chase felt him pull out and gasped audibly. "Please, yes, please, I need to come!"

Two fingers entered him simultaneously, sliding inside him with a very sudden gentleness and instead of fucking him, House _caressed_ his prostate, rubbing over it again and again. A hand closed around his cock, stroking quickly, and Chase felt like he was losing his mind.

He cried out loudly and arched his back without meaning to, he could barely control his body.

"It's time now. Come."

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When Chase managed to open his eyes again, his vision was slightly hazy and the utter darkness made him panic for a second until he realized that it was just very late and all the lights were turned off. With a sigh he rolled his head to the side, suddenly remembering why exactly he was laying on the ground, why he had obviously been unconscious.

House was lying on his back right next to him, one forearm resting over his eyes, the other hand placed lazily on his chest.

Holy shit! They'd had sex on the floor of the office!

Chase was feeling another wave of panic and instinctively rolled onto his side, curling around himself. He had begged House to fuck him, he had pleaded pathetically to be allowed to come. He had admitted to dreaming about the other man kissing him, had described his own fantasies to him. What the hell was that man doing to him?

"Good to see you're back in reality." House had turned onto his side, too, placing his head onto his arm. "I've actually never seen anyone pass out after sex, go to sleep, yes, but not really pass out. I thought I'd killed you for a second."

He laughed humorlessly and closed his eyes with a shaky sigh. He had passed out alright. That orgasm had been more than he'd been able to take and this had been the best sex he had ever had and he couldn't stand that thought and felt pathetic and he really wanted to cry.

Chase was not a damn high school girl after her first time!

"Sit up."

And he really didn't feel like obeying any more orders, but he complied anyway.

"Put on your pants, clean yourself up a bit and bring my coat."

Of course he blushed when he noticed that he really was pretty much naked and only wearing his lab coat. Chase threw on his boxers and pants, took off his lab coat because it was seriously ruined and used it to wipe up the cum on his stomach and chest. He felt so strange. Kind of dirty and emotionally all over the place. Surely he hadn't felt like that after blowing House the first time, so why now?

Soon he was kneeling next to his boss again, clutching the man's coat in his hands and then putting in on over his bare torso – House didn't say anything about putting on his shirt first.

"Now lie down. We'll figure something out in a few minutes. But lie down for now."

They were lying face to face again on the floor and House wasn't studying him for a change. But House lifted his arm and allowed him to lie right next to him, touching all of the older man's front. They weren't cuddling, not even when House placed his arm around the smaller body next to his own, they were only touching.

"Don't think about this. This isn't something big, but I know you and I know what we just did was something big and you need this. No reason why I can't give it to you."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Finally I've finished writing this story! Only one more chapter to go, but the 15th is quite a bit longer than the others ;)

Have fun reading the 14th – nothing too explicit this time! – with one of my favorite scenes featuring a little bit of _cane!sex_ (or well, let's call it cane!foreplay xD)

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"I can't quite believe you are the person who was paranoid about Chase thinking you may have given him your coat to sleep."

He wasn't sure why he felt this incredibly uncomfortable, but this time it didn't take long for everything to come back to him. They'd had sex. He'd freaked a little bit. House had calmed him down. They had gone to sleep on the floor.

Chase was feeling a lot better this time around. Yes, sleeping with House had been "something big" like the other man had titled it, but it wasn't a bad thing. It had been good, exceptionally good and there was no reason to feel weird or bad about it. There really was no surprise that they had ended up in bed together.

Or well, on the floor.

"But I kind of see it. How it is so very bad to have him think you gave him your coat as a blanket, but no problem to actually dress him up in it and hold him all night like you never want to let go."

"Oh shut it, Wilson", Chase's pillow grunted and he suddenly noticed that he really was lying half on top of House, the man's shoulder being the only reason why at least Chase's neck wasn't hurting like the rest of his body.

Yawning he sat up so House could do the same and pulled the coat closed again. He was still naked beneath it and it was pretty chilly and he also didn't need Dr. Wilson to look at him again. That only brought back bad memories.

"It's funny. I'd really thought you'd rather leave him chained up, instead of letting him loose and cuddling him. So what now? Are you planning on turning your office into a love nest with a giant pink four-poster bed or is it going to be a dungeon? Maybe you should think about that again, Chase said he's not into other people watching him and the glass walls probably won't hold hooks or fuzzy pink curtains."

Why was Dr. Wilson talking like he wasn't even in the room? And why was he being so sarcastic?

Once again Chase was amazed by his boss's strength, since the man grunted painfully while getting up, but managed to walk over to the door where Wilson was standing without even swaying a bit.

"Leave. Keep your mouth shut and leave. I'm not in the mood."

"Well, but maybe I should talk to your friend. Come on, Chase, how was it?"

What was going on with those two?

"Get out!" House was getting louder. "Leave the damn boy alone and piss off, Wilson!"

Chase watched the staring contest between the two men, sure that House's gaze was even more intense than Dr. Wilson's. The younger of the two department heads chuckled, shaking his head and then he actually _smiled_ at House, no smirk, no irony or sarcasm in it. He left after a few moments and Chase got to his feet, staggering slightly in the process.

Even though he knew he wasn't supposed to overanalyze it, he couldn't help but think about the fact that House had actually let him sleep in his arms. He had awoken up just like he had imagined the day before on the other man's couch.

God, House's arms had really felt as great around him as he had imagined.

Only now he wouldn't even look at Chase, who had a certain hunch that he'd be wanting some space after this. Which was surprisingly okay and something he thought he might need, too.

"You done freaking out?"

"Yes, I'm fine now."

"Good. It'll be about two hours until the others show up. Go and change, have breakfast, I'll see you in two hours."

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"You're getting good at protecting him."

"I fucked him, he was all shaken up after it, he didn't need my best friend to harass him about it."

"So _now_ you are doing him."

"If by "doing" you mean screwing him into unconsciousness, then yes, I am."

"Oh come on… Seriously? I guess you'll have fun explaining to him that it's completely casual then."

"He knows that."

"When a guy fucks you into a delirium, he is not and never was just a fuck."

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They saw each other two hours later and they cured their patient. It was – no surprise there – a neurological problem and Foreman spent an hour gloating after they received the positive test. As a punishment House told him to monitor the treatment, while the rest of them were free to go and Chase was incredibly happy to go home.

His back was killing him and he didn't want to imagine a day on his feet, much less to sit on the uncomfortable chair in the conference room any longer.

It wasn't like they'd been too rough, he just hadn't done it with a guy for quite a long time now. It always kind of hurt afterwards and he was looking forward to spending a few hours in his bathtub and another few hours on his living room sofa after that.

Or maybe he'd just have a shower to get off the stench of sweat. Chase actually kind of liked the slight pain as long as he didn't have to sit on any hard surfaces. It reminded him of what had happened and it made everything a lot more real. Yes, it was a good pain.

House didn't explicitly say goodbye to him, didn't tell him to turn up at his place in the evening, didn't say anything at all, but he was okay with that. The last two nights had been pretty special and both of them needed time to themselves, time to think. It was unbelievable what had happened between them in such short time.

It really wasn't about the deal anymore and Chase had a feeling that it wasn't even about House proving he could figure him out and "cure" him. His boss had enjoyed himself, he had initiated last night because he'd been turned on, not only because he had wanted to prove something or find something out. House had _wanted_ to fuck him, he had wanted to _get off_ with him. It hadn't just been about him, it had been about _both_ of them.

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Normally Chase would have been going crazy if a not-one night stand hadn't called or talked to him two days after. He would have tormented himself with thoughts about how maybe he hadn't been good enough, had done something awkward, something wrong. Maybe he would have even been disappointed if he'd liked the person a lot, would have thought that those feelings weren't reciprocated.

This time Chase was completely calm.

House hadn't talked to him except for work related stuff, hadn't looked at him differently, hadn't initiated anymore tests or experiments to find out more about Chase. They hadn't kissed, hadn't had any more sexual contact, hadn't even touched each other innocently for two days and the young intensivist was fine with it.

What more proof would anyone need that no, Chase really wasn't in love with House, didn't think of him as his long lost love as House had jokingly titled it once? It wasn't like he didn't want what was between them to go on, it was just that he wouldn't have been devastated if House presented a reason why their deal was off completely now.

Well, he would have been sad and a little disappointed. But he wouldn't have been devastated!

On the third evening he finally started wondering how much time apart his boss would need. He was anxious to repeat what they had done or try something else with him. House was… pretty good. Actually, House was amazing and Chase was starting to notice that he was becoming horny and desperate. He really wanted a repetition, to see if sex with the other man was that good every time. If it was, he had to find a way to never ever let their arrangement end!

The door bell disturbed his thoughts just as he considered another round of jerking off to the image of House fucking him on various surfaced in the hospital. Standing in front of the door he was awkwardly reminded of that night Dr. Wilson had been there to visit and he swallowed hard. He was still waiting for the other doctor to approach him and tell him he didn't have to let House do all that to him and Chase really wasn't keen on explaining to him that he wanted House to do things to him.

He opened the door and seeing Gregory House standing in front of him made him feel like current was sent through his veins to reach every inch of his body. It was surprising how intense his reaction was.

"Hey", Chase croaked, inwardly cursing himself for sounding like his boss had swept him off his feet with his sheer presence.

The answer was a very House-like grunt and the younger man stepped back and opened the door invitingly. It was the first time House was visiting him and once again Chase felt the tugging of a certain hunch that this was establishing even more familiarity between them. He was starting to think about them being friends!

Well, at least being friends would have made it easier to describe their relationship. They could be friends with benefits! Right now he didn't quite like the thought that he was an employee with benefits for House.

They sat on the sofa after Chase had showed off his qualities as a host and had taken House's coat, having to stop himself from hanging onto it for just one more second. It was stupid, but every time he saw the coat he thought of it as a reminder of the more intimate parts of their night in the office.

"I want to fuck you again and I didn't get the feeling you'd be opposed to that."

Now that was the perfection of bluntness!

"I'm not."

"Good."

Silence. Really awkward silence. Were they supposed to just get it on? Should he explain where the bedroom was? Was he supposed to start because they were at his flat? No, they had decided that it wasn't a good idea to let him initiate contact. He really wasn't keen on even thinking about that one kiss…

The other kiss had been good, real good. Good enough that he would have loved to be kissed some more. Good enough that he had damned his panic while being blindfolded and unable to speak. Maybe House would kiss him more this time? Maybe he wouldn't take away his sight and they'd be able to kiss _while_ having sex? Chase hoped that House was as much into kissing as part of sexual contact as he was.

"Would you like something to drink? I have about everything in the kitchen."

"You have any liquor?"

"I could get out the whiskey."

While doing just that he tried not to think about the fact that House hadn't used the opportunity to make fun of him. Normally he would have made a comment like "I'm sure you have some gin stacked somewhere, but do you have anything people don't just use to kill themselves?". He was being nice to him, he was human to him almost suspiciously often now.

When he returned to the living room, carrying two glasses of the dark brown drink, the TV was playing an old episode of X-Files and House had placed his shoe-less feet onto the table. Okay, so it was obvious that the other man wasn't sure how he was supposed to act. The transition between co-workers and sex buddies seemed difficult for both of them under the circumstances of being in Chase's home and the young doctor dared to think that House didn't want him to feel violated by him coming into his flat and just demanding sex.

God, since when could he interpret his boss's behavior as being considerate?

"We are a lot more fun than those people." House took the offered glass without a nod or thank you. "You can't solve our mysteries just after the teaser. I always know what's going to happen after watching for three minutes."

"That might be because all you Americans know that show by heart. I haven't ever met anyone here who hasn't watched a few seasons of this stuff."

"Still. I already could watching it the first time. The second time around you just watch for the characters."

So they sat there and watched TV, talking about trivialities and hospital gossip. It felt incredibly relaxing and Chase wondered if it was like that when House and Wilson spent time together.

It got dark. They shared a frozen pizza, House stealing most of the ham from Chase's half and dumping his pineapple pieces there instead.

Chase had already given up on the thought of getting off and had just enjoyed himself instead when the other man suddenly turned off the TV after an episode of Torchwood. For a second he thought House was going to leave, but then he felt a hand on his thigh.

"I want you to go into your bedroom. Undress, then turn off the light. Kneel facing your bed."

Wow.

He got up and obeyed, unable to stop himself from already getting aroused at House's words. About a minute later he was waiting in the dark, kneeling a few inches away from his bed. Sex on an actual bed would be even better than on the floor, wouldn't it? Maybe not better, but different. Oh and he had taken out his handcuffs again, the ones he'd used as decoration on his bed since he'd been a teenager, but had banned to the back of his closet a long time ago. Seeing them hanging on the metal headboard would possibly give House ideas!

Chase heard shuffling behind him and the sound of the door clicking shut. He actually shivered in anticipation and took a deep breath in a completely futile attempt to calm himself. Because seconds later a cool object made contact with the burning skin on his neck and trailed down his spine. He arched his back inwards, a quiet gasp escaping his lips as another shiver ran through him. The object stopped at the top of his crack, pressing against him with slightly increased pressure.

Oh God, House was stroking him with his _cane_!

He really hoped that the other man had taken the time while he'd been undressing to actually clean the end of his cane that came in contact with every kind of dirt. He decided that House probably had sent him to the bedroom so he wouldn't see him do it and question it.

But why the hell was he thinking about that? House was fucking caressing him with his cane and oh hell, how could a walking aid be that sexy?

The cane slid up his back, only to slowly stroke downwards again, this time without resting at the end of the path. Seconds later Chase was gasping again as House slid the cane between his spread legs, touching the insides of both his thighs before pressing upwards.

"Up."

The single command brought Chase onto his feet and he stood there, breathing heavily. The still cool rubber end of the cane trailed down his spine again – obviously House enjoyed how having his spine touched made the young man shiver each time – and then the cane came around him, pressing against is stomach. He followed the movement of the wooden aid and stepped back.

"Good boy."

Looking down Chase saw how the cane and House's arms were enclosing him now, but he could only think about it for a few seconds, because then he was pulled back further and felt House's bare chest pressed against his back. He felt the other man's arousal and realized the possessive nature of the positioning of the cane across his stomach and Chase sighed soundlessly, letting his head fall back.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Warning**: This story contains BDSM elements and a lot of sexual acts, implied as well as explicit. If you don't like that, don't read this. If you don't feel comfortable reading about someone with personality insecurities, don't read this.

Hello everybody! Welcome to the last chapter of "Chasing Dreams"!

Firstly: Don't worry, there's a bit of sex at the beginning, but it's not getting explicit, so I'd think everybody who fits the rating can read that ;)

Secondly: I want to thank everybody who took the time to review this story! You motivated me a lot of times and I'm very thankful for that! I'm curious to see what everyone thinks of the ending, so please, even those who didn't review in the past – tell me how you liked it!

Thirdly: I'm currently planning my next story, which will contain a threesome relationship between House/Wilson/Chase (who'd've guessed?^^), so if you're interesting in reading it, check my profile in the near future!

And lastly: Have fun reading the last chapter!

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He bit his lip, clenching his eyes shut. This was the hardest moment of all, if he got through it without losing control, he'd get his _treat_. It was like he could actually feel the sounds in his throat clawing at his jaw muscles, wanting to force him to open his mouth and let them escape. Adding to that his mind was showing him about a thousand different images of how the man currently holding him was looking right then and Chase thought he'd go mad if he didn't open his eyes and see exactly what House was looking like.

But he kept his eyes closed, his mouth shut.

The hands on his hips moved his body faster, a sign to go as fast as he wanted now and he wanted to lose his mind in those fast, steady thrusts. Still he had to stay focused, had to keep himself from opening his eyes or making a sound, had to concentrate on not going too fast because he was bound to lose his balance since he couldn't use his hands to steady himself.

"Come."

Chase's body obeyed, he couldn't even control his climax with his mind anymore. As soon as House said that word during sex, he'd come. However, this time, he had to keep control over the situation!

As the wave of current in his body subsided, he slumped. Well, at least he didn't pass out. His body did, mostly, making him collapse on the other man's chest, his head falling onto a soft shoulder. But he'd kept quiet and his eyes were still closed!

"Good boy." House was whispering and the young man relaxed even more, pressing against the slightly sweaty skin. "Looks like you'll get that wish fulfilled today."

It had been another exchange. House loved the idea of not actually blindfolding or gagging Chase, but giving him mental boundaries to work the same way as real ones would. He very obviously got off on the idea of how the younger man would restrain himself mentally, just because he had told him to. Also, they didn't have to keep Chase's fears of being unable to escape in mind this way. He had offered to fulfill Chase one wish if he agreed to let himself be trained.

After a week's practice he was finally able to do it and had to admit he liked the concept, too, especially the way they had done it this time. His hands were bound behind his back, one hand tied to the other arm's elbow and the other way around. He could really feel the restraints, while at the same time, he felt like House had not only bound his arms, but used his mind to tie Chase's.

Another thing he had liked about this night's events was the position. They were on House's couch and he was riding the other man. Being guided by House's hands felt amazing and collapsing against his body wasn't something he had to feel weird about now – he had no choice.

"You already know what you want?"

"Mh… Had a week to think about it. Lots of things I want."

House chuckled. "Did you actually make a decision?"

"Mh… I did."

"You going to tell me?"

"Mhhhh…"

Another chuckle and he felt a hand ruffling his hair.

"I want to stay. In your bed. With you."

Thank god for post-coital bliss! Otherwise he would have probably never had the guts to actually voice his wish. Chase had thought about it for a week and after each of the five times they'd had sex he had felt that he knew exactly what he wanted. They had slept together eight times now and both couldn't get enough. It felt incredibly, like they had done it for years and still as intense as the first time had been.

Minus the passing out part.

Chase didn't think about cuddling and waking up in the older doctor's arms when he voiced his wish. It really was mostly a practical thing. He was tired after they'd had sex and the couch was hurting his back while driving home was about as dangerous as jumping off a cliff. Staying in House's bed was the perfect alternative!

"Then you should try and get up. Still need to change the sheets on the blanket and pillow I'd used 'till yesterday."

Okay, so it wasn't a practical thing. House agreeing without making a fuss or making him feel like he didn't want to made his stomach turn in that really, really good way. Maybe there would be some closeness after all?

Chase was slightly ashamed of it, but he thought about the night in the office and how his boss had held him pretty much every night before he went to sleep. Maybe tonight he wouldn't have to?

Getting up was as interesting as it was complicated and he was happy they'd kept the light on, because getting off House's lap with tied arms in the dark would have been about ten times worse than just getting off his lap with his arms tied. The other man loosened the restraints until Chase was able to slip them off and he checked for damage within seconds, fast enough that Chase hadn't even picked up on it the first two times. Now it made his heart flutter a tiny little bit every time.

"Go change the sheets, gotta call Wilson, don't feel like getting up tomorrow. We'll have a sick day."

He smiled and complied, walking down the hall into the bedroom naked.

_____________________________________________________________

"You already know that you'll wake up with a cough and stuffed nose tomorrow?"

"Yes, I do."

"That's very interesting. Would you care to share the method of achieving that finding, Dr. House? Maybe it's finally time to call Stockholm."

"I'm just that good. I also know that Chase will wake up with a cough and maybe even a fever tomorrow."

"It even works on other people? You should really share your brilliance with me!"

"No, it doesn't. It's just highly likely that he'll catch whatever I will have after sleeping in the same bed."

"Well. Then… when are you planning on letting him move in? Or are you going to marry him first?"

"Oh Jimmy, it's sad how you manage to always get it wrong! Also, marrying is more of your thing, isn't it?"

"Don't start, House. You know, I might be starting to actually feel happy for you. Both of you. I'm not sure yet, but I just might."

_____________________________________________________________

They hadn't gone to sleep like that night in the hospital. They'd gone to sleep on separate sides of the bed, under separate blankets, on separate pillows. Chase figured it wasn't all bad, because as long as he didn't act disappointed about it, House would think he was only fed up with driving home or sleeping on the couch. He still felt like he had to convince his boss that he wasn't in this to try and turn House into his loving boyfriend and partner.

The best thing about having his wish fulfilled was waking up, because House had rolled onto his stomach during the night and had thrown an arm around Chase's torso in the process. He bet half of it had been his doing, but they were lying so very close that he could feel the older man's breath and incredible warmth on his skin. He really could get used to this, that he was sure about.

With a sigh he closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into his pillow. Yeah, he really didn't want House as his partner. Sure.

_____________________________________________________________

"I should force you to make me coffee and bring me breakfast in bed. I mean, you do have me to thank for your day off."

"Just gimme a minute…", Chase muttered in response, pulling the blanket further up his body.

Damn House for opening the window!

"You pansy. It's not that cold and it's almost ten, how do you get into work at eight every morning?"

"Nasty alarm clock."

"Oh, so I need to be nasty to get you out of bed?"

Before he could even wonder how House defined nasty, a cold hand crept up under his blanket and placed itself onto his thigh, wandering upwards steadily…

He was out of the bed in seconds.

"You are just… mean."

After a trip to the bathroom he actually went to the kitchen and got the coffee machine started. They would have to have peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast, seeing as there was nothing else to eat and Chase had a feeling the owner of the flat had no problem with the choice of food at all. So instead of getting bored while waiting for the coffee, he prepared a few sandwiches, which meant he really was bringing House breakfast in bed, but he was sure that wouldn't be too weird. House had ordered him to and he felt like it was a nice thank you for being allowed to stay.

His back sure was thanking him!

"You do make a good wife. Or maybe more of a maid. I'd rather employ than marry you."

"Maybe I should mention that on my next job application. 'I'm not just a genius in my field of work, I also look stunning carrying around breakfast naked'."

"If you apply for a job as a waitress in a gay diner, you could actually be hired for that quality. Oh and hurry up already, getting hungry here!"

"I should pass on that information to future fellowship applicants. You'd hire someone just because they were insane enough to put that into an application and to have fun while making them prove it."

Both of them smirked and after he'd managed to put down the plates on the mattress and House had taken both cups of coffee, Chase climbed back into bed. At least the window was closed now, but it was still far too chilly for his liking. The coffee was going to help with that and he took his cup greedily as House held it out.

"You know, you don't pay me for making you breakfast yet, so you still have to thank me."

"Thank you for making sandwiches? That's just ridiculous. As soon as you give me something like Wilson's pancakes you might deserve a thank you."

He chuckled and reached out for his plate, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Chase often wondered if it was like this when Wilson was with House. They spent a lot of time being playful now. Generally their time together consisted of watching TV, having sex and mostly unimportant chatting mixed with gently spiced comments and a lot of teasing.

Wilson and House weren't doing anything different, were they? Well, despite the having sex part. Chase was pretty sure that House was his friend now, that he was House's friend. It wasn't like they'd spent time together without having sex or talking about their initial deal, but those things were just single parts of a lot more.

Sometimes he wondered if House thought about all this as much as he did.

If he did at all.

"So how far along are you with the book?"

"Well… I started the fourth chapter, but I still don't really like that part right now. All that talk about how sometimes people think they have done something to deserve to be punished, to not be free, all that isn't really me."

"Not even concerning the mommy-issues?"

"No. I didn't do anything wrong." He looked down and took another bite to stall. "I tried my best and even if it wasn't enough, that doesn't make what I tried wrong or somehow bad. What happened wasn't under my control, it wasn't really my responsibility, even if it felt like it then."

"That sounds a lot less angry than you normally do."

"I took your… advice… and thought about a few things instead of avoiding everything. It's working, I think. And I only have four more chapters to go and see if there are any ill-advised reasons for why I like what I like. But I learned that it can just be a harmless fetish to get off on words like punishment!"

"Good to know!"

Just like that they went back to joking about everything and nothing. Chase actually liked that they didn't have long, serious talks anymore that ended with House forcing them back onto normal grounds. Now they just talked about the serious stuff whenever something came up and then went on with whatever they'd been doing. He was able to tell the other man a lot in those pseudo casual conversations he wouldn't have wanted to explain otherwise.

It amazed him how much their behavior had changed since that first blowjob, the "differential" House had let him take part in.

Right now he was receiving his treatment and judging by the amount of time he spent smiling for no actual reason, it was working, House really was helping him be more comfortable. Oh and the regular sex was doing a bit for that, too.

"Did you tell Cameron and Foreman we wouldn't be in today?"

"Nope."

"Did you tell Cu- Wait, did you tell anyone at all?"

"Maybe. God, you ask too many questions for someone who didn't even want to get out of bed half an hour ago."

Even more surprising than the transition from joking to seriousness back to joking was how House managed to go from teasing him like he would if Chase were just a friend and employee, to pressing him into the mattress and kissing him forcefully. The younger man hadn't known what had been happening to him when House had grabbed and kissed him without any kind of warning the day after they had had sex at his flat for the first time. But he really, really liked all that a lot more than working up to having sex by watching TV and talking about God knew what when both of them really just wanted to get into each other's pants!

"Wilson knows, he'll tell anyone who wants us."

"But-"

This time House used it as a successful method of shutting him up. Their plates were pushed to the foot of the bed since the older man obviously didn't care about getting crumbs everywhere or destroying his dishes.

It really was like all those Sunday mornings Chase had spent with various girl- and boyfriends in the past when he felt himself being covered by House's body while the older man kissed him, one hand buried in his hair. Chase's hands found their place on House's torso, one resting on his side, the other one sprawled out on his back. Lying in bed naked under the sheets in the morning had to be the world's biggest sign that he was free to touch the other man however he felt like.

That really was a change from how they normally got into it.

But he felt great and House tasted of peanut butter and coffee so sweet no normal adult would want to drink it and this was the perfect morning and he really couldn't believe he would have been sitting at work if it hadn't been for his wish of staying over like this. Chase had a funny feeling thinking about it, but he was suddenly very sure he would have liked to get used to this.

The older man initiated a change of positions after a while, probably because his leg had been bothering him the last few days and leaning over had been awkward. Chase knew his way around the other man's leg pretty well already. He was straddling him then, noticing both their arousal and rocking his hips slightly. They moaned simultaneously, panting against the other man's lips and Chase felt two hands grasping strands of his hair this time and pulling him back down into a kiss.

The slightly rough action reminded him that lazy morning sex wasn't part of their deal, wasn't why he was lying in House's bed.

He didn't really feel like getting up and he actually just wanted House to take him – nothing more. But sex was always planned with them, House always seemed to have a certain theme in his mind, a certain issue he wanted to tackle. Normally there was a reason behind having sex, not just craving for satisfaction.

Sometimes their kisses started out as small battles for dominance, but House always won those playful fights and Chase loved to lose as soon as they grew more heated. Heated couldn't even begin to describe how their current kiss felt, his lips were on fire, as was his cock and House would probably want to get into their regular setting – but the bag containing the padded cuffs, ropes and everything else they had started to use frequently was in the living room!

Chase decided to hold himself back slightly and let House take over the kiss, focusing on responding to the man's movements. He didn't even notice how the thought made him stop the movement of the hand he wasn't using to balance himself. He left it laying on House's chest where he'd been teasing and rubbing his nipples before. He also didn't consciously stop the rocking motion of his hips, going still on the other man's body without even noticing.

But obviously House did notice.

He broke the kiss, staring up at his employee with one part curiosity and two parts annoyance.

"You want me to go and get the bag from the living room?"

There was silence in the room, only disturbed by their heavy breathing. Both earlier emotions vanished from House's face.

"Get off."

"What?"

"I said, GET OFF!"

Chase felt himself being pushed to the side and had to roll off of the other man's body. He had no idea what was happening, why House seemed angry so suddenly.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong? I didn't know, so I thought I'd ask, I didn't think you didn't want me to. I'm sorry? What do you…Why are you…"

He looked up at his boss, who had gotten off the bed and instantly put on his pyjama pants, showing him very clearly that they wouldn't be having sex anytime soon. As Chase let his words trail off House sighed exasperatedly and his hands formed themselves into fists while he turned around quickly.

"God damnit, can't you be fucking _normal_ for once in your fucked up life?!"

"…what?"

"You heard exactly what I said! You can't be…"

Once again the room was bathed in silence and Chase had to avert his eyes as soon as House stopped talking. Those words had hurt him more than he would have thought possible. That _one word_.

It wasn't so much House telling him his life was fucked up, but the man screaming at him that he was not normal…

Chase felt like everything around him – no, inside him – was crumbling to pieces. His confidence, his pride, everything that had been built by House these last few days seemed to vanish at the thought that he was not normal, not even for House, no matter what the older man had said. But then, why had he?

"Chase…"

He had to cover himself with the sheets before he managed to look up and that one gesture was so painful he felt like he could cry his eyes out. He'd been able to walk around naked without feeling awkward! He'd been fucking comfortable and now this!

House's face wasn't closed off for once and he was overwhelmed by all those things he could read there.

House felt remorse for his choice of words.

House was actually sorry.

Chase almost gasped as the strange flicker of longing told him that House had been thinking exactly the same as he had been.

House had wanted _normal_ sex, not because their regular, abnormal sex was something bad, but because it would be_ different_ for them to have sex without some additional reason behind it.

The older man sighed again and Chase watched him sit down on the edge of the bed with a quiet grunt. That fury, that anger hadn't been meant to hurt him, House hadn't been thinking about what his choice of words would do and House not calculating everything, House acting irrational – that was a pretty clear sign, wasn't it?

Chase was still feeling a slight ache in his chest over that unwanted insult, but his heart was beating a mile a minute and even though the words hurt, he couldn't stop thinking about the deeper meaning behind the older man being out of his own control. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, if he was supposed to say that he understood, if he was supposed to tell House that it was okay.

And it wasn't okay, really, it wasn't.

But still, he couldn't sit there and leave things as they were and so he drew the sheets tighter around himself and moved closer, sitting next to the other man. He didn't even look at him, but in the corner of his eye he could see that House was looking up, watching him sit next to him with a slightly surprised expression.

Chase sighed and pressed one edge of the blanket against his chest, careful to keep the space between them. It seemed like a million questions started to circle inside his head. He still had no idea what exactly was supposed to happen, what would happen, but then House slid that tiny bit closer to him and placed an arm around his shoulders and even though that still didn't give him any answers, Chase felt himself relax. Maybe House had a few of those answers, maybe he didn't, maybe some of those questions didn't even really need asking.

It didn't _have_ to matter right then. House was almost holding him and if that didn't need an explanation, maybe everything else didn't either.

**FIN**

© 2009 by rainbow_romeo


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